“You can’t say that marriage is a union between one man and one woman. Until very recently, that’s what the vast majority of Americans thought. Now it’s considered bigotry.” —Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. So much for impartiality.

Our opening quote could have been, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Melissa McCarthy’s upcoming flick, “Superintelligence” had a carefully thought out promotional plan. During “20 Days of Kindness,” HBO Max would donate $20K a day to a worthy charity. What could go wrong, right? Wrong. One of the recipients was Exodus Cry, an organization that is against reproductive choice and vilifies the LGBTQ community. When Melissa heard about this, she was outraged enough to cry through an apology. “There’s no other way to say it – we blew it. We made a mistake and we backed a charity that, upon proper vetting, stands for everything that we do not. So I want to thank everyone on social media who said, ‘What are you doing? Are you sure you want to back this?’ Because the answer was no, we do not.” How do you rectify that? McCarthy says, “We have pulled it.” So who’s getting that $20K?

I got a laugh when one outlet referred to thespian Scott Baio as a “former actor.” Baio’s good deed was to rearrange the mugs in his local Michael’s to read “Trump Is Still Your President.” “Thank you Scott, and stay tuned. You are terrific!” Tweeted Trump in response to Baio’s photo. I don’t know what’s more shocking – that Trump thinks Scott is terrific, or that Baio is into crafting. Or, perhaps he was working in the mugs section that day.
Wentworth Miller made a revelation on Instagram regarding his future with “Prison Break.” “I just don’t want to play straight characters. Their stories have been told (and told). So. No more Michael. If you were a fan of the show, hoping for additional seasons…I understand this is disappointing. I’m sorry. If you’re hot and bothered bec you fell in love with a fictional straight man played by a real gay one…That’s your work.” Miller’s “Prison Break” brother, Dominic Purcell, was among the first to respond. “It was fun mate. What a ride it was. Fully support and understand your reasoning. Glad you have made this decision for your health and your truth. Keep the posts coming…love ya brother.”

Then there’s Viggo Mortensen – who, by all accounts, is heterosexual. He’s writing, directing, and starring in his next film. My God – he’s like the male Streisand. All he has to do is sing the theme song wearing Lee Press On Nails! Anyway, “Falling” is about a homophobic and racist man suffering from dementia. Viggo plays the man’s son – who happens to be a gay, married man. Mortensen claims that this is not “a gimmick, anchor, or some trigger.” In fact, he didn’t originally write the role to be gay – but felt it made for a more compelling story. He added, “I apologize to all the proctologists for casting David Cronenberg” – who plays a proctologist in the film. I might add that I don’t believe Viggo ever met any hobbits in real life!

FYI, I had already announced I was taking Thanksgiving Week off. But, due to circumstances beyond my control (and you know how I hate that), I’m going to be indisposed for this week as well. Fear not – we’ll be back right with a special series of shows for December. Stay tuned.

Remember Michael Cohen? El Presidente’s former fixer? He appears in a tantalizing video – courtesy of Matthew Camp, who is a former NYC go-go boy. For some reason, Cohen made a Cameo video where he says the following: “I just want to say how amazing Matthew Camp is on OnlyFans. Having a blast enjoying every minute with you guys. Good luck. Love it. Stay safe. Stay Covid-free. And, again, OnlyFans – having a blast with him.” Things that make you go, “Hmm.” I smell an endorsement coming for “Billy Masters LIVE”. In the meantime, you can see both Camp and Cohen on BillyMasters.com.

If Cohen loves Camp, he’ll love our “Ask Billy” question. Danny in San Francisco writes, “Did you hear that the Zakar Twins said they’d release some nude photos if Biden won? Well, where are they?”

Actually, they promised a whole lotta things. Things like this: “Will post nudes if (when?) Trump loses.” They kinda modified the deal when they heard of Biden’s win. “Alright, alright, a deals a deal. Butts out for Biden! You want full-frontal? Wait for AOC to take office.” Of course, you don’t want to wait. You just have to check out BillyMasters.com.

When brothers’ butts are out for Biden (or, I venture to say, anyone else who comes along), it’s time to end yet another column. Sorry to take this week off, but I’m dealing with some sticky situations – none of which concern my penis (at least, not yet). But there are more than enough penii for you on BillyMasters.com – the site that shows full-frontal with or without AOC! Even though I’m tied up, I’m never too busy to answer your questions. Feel free to write me at [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before Scott Baio gets promoted to Manager of Mugs at Michael’s! So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

“We’ve got control of this thing.  If you look at my Instagram, it’s gone to almost nothing.” —Donald Jr. tells Laura Ingraham that people don’t have to worry about quarantine or the coronavirus, and that the deaths are “almost nothing.” Who died and made this guy…well, anything?  Oh, yeah – about 230,000 people.

I’m writing this column a handful of days before the election. And by the time you read it, you may be: a) drunk and happy or 2) drunk and miserable. Either way, I think it’s safe to say liquor will be involved. It’s clear the end is near when Omarosa shows up. For someone who was allegedly privy to lots of inside dirt, what did she disclose? Secrets from the Trump marriage. “I have known this couple since they were dating, they got married a year after ‘The Apprentice’ aired.” After calling it “a very strange marriage”, she made what may possibly be the understatement of the year: “Sometimes they like each other but sometimes she is repulsed by him.” Perhaps Melania has finally joined the majority. I really don’t care – do you?

If Biden takes Wisconsin, most of the credit has to go to WisDems. The group flooded the Internet with special shows, reunions, and other celebrity-laden fundraising events. They pulled out the stops on Halloween with “The Rocky Horror Show.” An all-star cast was assembled but they were eclipsed by some of the classic film’s stars. Barry Bostwick intoned Brad’s songs. Little Nell worked overtime playing both Columbia and, for much of the show, Frank-N-Furter. Yes, Tim Curry was there, but one must remember that he suffered a stroke in 2012. Nonetheless, he valiantly attempted to revisit the role that catapulted him to fame with enormous difficulty. 

Seth Green (Riff Raff), Rosario Dawson (Magenta), and David Arquette (Eddie) gave standout performances. There were also terrific cameos during the floor show from “Hairspray” alums Marissa Jaret Winokur and a sexy, corset-wearing Garrett Clayton. Jason Alexander was a great narrator, but Frankie Grande was a curious Dr. Scott, oozing all of the raw masculinity of a young Tina Louise. Lance Bass rocked out as Rocky…complete with golden Speedo. If you missed this one-time-only event, some notable moments can be found on BillyMasters.com.

People are fleeing Ellen DeGeneres‘ social media platforms en masse. She lost over half a million followers on Twitter and an equal number on Instagram. If those people are looking for someone new, might I suggest “Billy Masters TV”?  The recent show with Lainie Kazan and Michele Lee in their first joint interview has gone viral and quickly became our most popular episode (beating out both Fran Drescher and Anita Pointer). Who would have thought Lainie and Mishy would become the queens of Billy Masters TV – I thought that was moi! Do me a favor and go to Billy Masters TV on YouTube and click “Subscribe”.  It costs you nothing and really helps us out. 

Last week’s shows with Christopher Sieber and Gilles Marini were great fun. This Tuesday, I’ll host an Election Day special where I’ll share gossip, chat with fans, and show some of my favorite moments from the last few months. On Thursday, we focus on the Emerging Artists Theatre, which is hosting a benefit reading of Brian Belovitch’s play “Boys Don’t Wear Lipstick.” We’ll chat with Belovitch, director Everett Quinton, and two of the stars who happen to be pals – Jonny Beauchamp and Tony winner Lena Hall.  See all the shows on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.  “Billy Masters LIVE” – where the stars play by day.

Way back in 2012, Reed in Chicago sent in an “Ask Billy” question about Olympic gymnast Danell Leyva. At the time, some nude photos circulated that were allegedly texted to a girl he was trying to hook up with. Fast forward eight years and Danell has come out — on National Coming Out Day: “For a long time I’ve known that I wasn’t straight. But because of some very personal reasons, I always rejected that side of me. Earlier this year I finally understood that I’m bi/pan (still trying to figure that one out).” He adds, “I also realized that, as of now at least, I’m not attracted to cis men.” That’s OK, Danell. And, yes, before you ask, I’ll post the photos again on BillyMasters.com.

In lieu of a new “Ask Billy” question, I want to take a moment to remember my friend Nikki McKibbin. You knew her as the scrappy contestant on season one of “American Idol” who came in third. We did several Pride festivals together, and she was a hoot. She was a gal just waiting for a break. She got a few, but they never quite panned out the way she hoped. After a pretty hard life battling various addictions, she had an aneurysm last week and was brain-dead immediately. In accordance with her wishes, she was kept alive on machines for three days to arrange distribution of her organs. Till the end, she was a very special, giving person.  Rest in peace, Nikk! 

When I’m investigating dual citizenship, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Regardless of how the election goes, you should be checking out BillyMasters.com – the site that never disappoints. If you have a question, comment, or concern, drop a note to me at [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before all the votes are counted!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

“I’m retired.” — Joe Manganiello, responding to the idea of doing another “Magic Mike” sequel.

I wasn’t following the race for New Mexico’s House of Representatives until I found out one of the candidates did gay porn! Roger Montoya is a Democratic candidate. A conservative blogger reported that Montoya’s “work” was done under the names Joe Savage and Eric Martinez (you can view his work on BillyMasters.com). In another refreshing first for a political porn sex scandal, Montoya is openly gay. He was also recognized as one of 10 “CNN Heroes” in 2019 for his work on anti-violence and HIV education programs. By the by, he is also openly HIV-positive. Roger said that he did two films to support himself as a young modern dancer in Los Angeles. “Those experiences do not reflect who I am, and they are insignificant in the scope of my life’s work, yet they helped inspire my dedication to my community and the work I do to make sure that youth have opportunities, support and confidence.”

Many legends have appeared on “Billy Masters LIVE.” But I don’t think we’ve had anyone as legendary as Ed Asner. I am thrilled to interview him on Thursday, Oct. 15, but I must confess that this plum booking basically fell into my lap. I contacted a publicist of someone who I thought would be a good guest. The publicist is no longer working with that person, but suggested Ed Asner – whose autobiography “Son of a Junkman” is an amazingly revealing read. Before you could say “spunk,” Ed Asner was booked – and I’m frantically researching his fascinating life. You never know what will happen on “Billy Masters LIVE,” 3 p.m. Eastern every Tuesday and Thursday. Check out Billy Masters TV on YouTube, or go to BillyMasters.com/TV.

Meanwhile, the world of entertainment continues limping along. You may be wondering what will happen to all those year-end blockbusters? The folks at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences want to help the studios. The Oscars have been pushed from February to April 25. In the past, films needed to qualify by screening in a Los Angeles cinema three times a day for at least one week. However, the Academy’s new rules allow films that are shown in cinemas OR drive-ins in LA, NYC, San Francisco, Chicago, Miami and Atlanta for a week. In addition, films that had scheduled theatrical releases but were seen on a streaming service due to the pandemic also qualify.

Some members of the Academy are asking that the Oscars not take place at all. The awards should still be given out. But due to the pandemic, most believe a live ceremony cannot take place safely. They also believe that doing a virtual event would tarnish the reputation of the Oscars. Stay tuned.
Remember the Tonys? Of course you don’t – Broadway’s biggest night traditionally happens during June (coincidentally, Pride Month). Meanwhile, we haven’t even had nominations from the truncated season. That’s all about to change. The Tony nominations were set to be announced live at 3 p.m. Eastern on YouTube on Oct. 15.

As to the ceremony itself, God only knows. Originally, it was supposed to air on CBS. Here is the latest official statement: “The 74th Annual Tony Awards will take place digitally in fall 2020.” Well, doesn’t that sound vague and unfulfilling. It’s not like I haven’t had memorable moments digitally. Frankly, it depends on the digits.

The latest on Broadway is that theaters will not open any earlier than May 30, 2021 and the phrase “don’t hold your breath” springs to mind. What would this mean for the 2021 Tonys, which would typically take place in June? Perhaps whatever shows can open on one weekend will sweep the awards. In light of these delays, it’s no surprise that the Hugh Jackman/Sutton Foster revival of “The Music Man” will now open on Feb. 10, 2022. And the new musical about Michael Jackson will bow sometime in September 2021.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Frank in Baltimore: “I heard about this movie with Dylan Sprouse playing an escort. Where can I find it?”
Last week, the short film “Daddy” was released. It features Ron Rifkin as an 80-year-old celebrating his first wedding anniversary as a widower — with a male prostitute! The hooker is played by the lovely – and actually quite touching – Dylan Sprouse (of the famed Sprouse twins). You’ll recall we previously brought you nude photos of Dylan. Back to “Daddy” – the short was written and directed by Christian Coppola. And before you ask, yes, he is perched on a distant branch of the Coppola family tree. “I’m not close enough to get invited for Thanksgiving dinner,” he quipped. As with the nudes, we’ll post the flick on BillyMasters.com.

When my heart belongs to daddy’s boy, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. There was one curious moment in “Daddy.” A woman standing next to the twosome in an elevator says, “You and your daddy look very handsome tonight.” With a 50-year gap between the two, I might have gone for “Grand Daddy.” But you can decide for yourself when you see it on BillyMasters.com – the site that can fill any gap. Of course, I’m always on hand should you need a hand…or a digit. Drop a note to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before my autobiography drops. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Shia LeBoeuf in ‘Tax Collector.’

“It wasn’t me.” — Kathy Griffin’s Tweet after reports that there was a shooter outside the White House.

I’m more than a little bit psychic – but you already knew that. Last week, I bemoaned life without “The View” (the show is on hiatus until Labor Day). I also mused whether Sara Haines would return now that her “GMA” offshoot has been cancelled. Moments after the ink dried on that column, ABC began negotiations with Sara to return to “The View.” Since Abby Huntsman’s abrupt departure, there’s been an empty seat at the table.  While that’s been fine during the pandemic, it could get tricky in the fall given Meghan McCain’s imminent maternity leave.

In news from the Marvel Universe, Wiccan and Hulkling, members of the Young Avengers, got married. While Marvel has celebrated same-sex weddings before (most notably, the June 20, 2012 nuptials of Northstar and Kyle), this was a first…this pair scurried off and had a quickie Vegas ceremony. How kitschy! It may have been spontaneous, but the boys have been courting since 2005.

Speaking of Marvel, the company has secured permission to use the X-Men in their Marvel Cinematic Universe. And our very own Colton Haynes has a new goal in life – to play Iceman! According to insiders, Shia LeBeouf has already been approached, but that isn’t stopping Colton from taking his case to social media.

Zac Efron has just been cast in a remake of “Three Men and a Baby.” The new flick is being made for Disney+, so it’s kinda a homecoming for Zac, who made a name for himself with the company’s “High School Musical” flicks. No word on other co-stars, or which of the “men” Zac will play, but my money is on Guttenberg.

I’m calling this Reunion Week on “Billy Masters LIVE,” but that’s kind of a misnomer. I don’t believe these particular groupings have ever been assembled before.  On Tuesday, Aug. 18, we pay tribute to the long-running musical review “Naked Boys Singing,” including members of the original creative team and cast. And on Thursday, well, even I can’t believe it. Our special “Hairspray” show will include the Tracy from the movie musical, Nikki Blonsky, and the Link from TV, Garrett Clayton. We’ll also have some special guests connected with the show. Stay tuned for a BIG surprise or two. Yes, summer sizzles on Billy Masters TV – on YouTube.

Our shows last week kicked off with the dynamic Lena Hall, who you’ll remember from “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” I knew she was wildly talented, but I didn’t know she was hysterically funny and smart as a whip. Speaking of smart, talented and funny, Fran Drescher returned to the show on Thursday to talk about her documentary on REELZ, her rescue dog, and even introduce us to the workmen at her home – much to the delight of her worldwide fans who were commenting like crazy. Then, Broadway leading man Max von Essen discussed his livestream concert (which you can see on BroadwayWorld.com). The icing on the cake was the appearance of Max’s “Falsettos” co-star, Nick Adams. It was a lovefest all around, as you can see on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Pandemic or not, Billy Masters stays away from Provincetown for no man. As it turns out, that’s exactly how many men I had – because, you know, there’s a pandemic going on. I did get to see some incredible shows – and it’s simply coincidental that all of these artists have appeared on “Billy Masters LIVE” (I’m not risking life and limb to see Vicki Lawrence Schultz). At the Crown and Anchor, I saw Judy Gold, Varla Jean Merman, and Edmund Bagnell. And at the Pilgrim House, I saw Branden and James.  Make no mistake: these performers are all at the peak of their profession, and Ptown is lucky to have them during this crazy time. You can see the full reviews as well as other details on BillyMasters.com.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Randy in London: “Cheers from the UK. Big fan. What has Mitch Hewer been up to? It’s been a minute. One doesn’t hear much of him anymore, but he was my guilty pleasure.”

Mine as well, M8. For those of you who are not Anglophiles, Hewer was one of those bleached blonde twink types who appeared on such UK shows as “Britannia High.” He was even a stripper in the Take That musical, “Never Forget”.  I don’t believe he’s done anything since leaving “Casualty” – at least nothing of note. While he is said to be heterosexual, it bears mentioning that he has played gay, such as on “Skins.” And we happen to have a video where he shows quite a bit of skin. Let’s just say even the Yanks will enjoy it…if you catch my drift. You can get some more visual clues on BillyMasters.com.

When our answer is a stroke of genius, it’s definitely time to end another column.  Before closing this week, I want to take a moment to remember a dear friend who you’ll know as Roman Heart. The porn superstar was truly as beautiful on the inside as he was on the outside – and that’s saying something. He also had a multitude of troubles, which we’d talk about well into the night. Rest in peace, my dear friend. Since there’s no rest for the wicked, I’m constantly busy writing the column, doing shows, and oodles of other things on BillyMasters.com – the site that is virus-free.  If you have a question, dash it off to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before I answer a question you haven’t asked…yet!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

“Alone we can achieve so little; together we can achieve so much.” – Tiffany Trump.

Actually, the Trump spawn was quoting Helen Keller – because, when I think of one, I automatically think of the other. Tiff’s Tweet had the hashtags #BlackoutTuesday and #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd. A lovely sentiment, but bear in mind she also reTweets her dad’s posts.

Lindsey Graham had quite a weekend. (Photo Mother Jones)

For years, people have whispered that Lindsey Graham is gay. I can’t say he is or isn’t – I never fucked him (but that’s hardly a litmus test). The Republican senator from South Carolina was the target of claims initiated by gay porn star Sean Harding. ”

There is a homophobic republican senator who is no better than Trump who keeps passing legislation that is damaging to the lgbt and minority communities. Every sex worker I know has been hired by this man. Wondering if enough of us spoke out if that could get him out of office?” Sean then Tweeted, “I cannot do this alone. If you’d be willing to stand with me against LG please let me know.” LG stands for “Lady Graham” – allegedly the nickname hookers use for Lindsey. Harding added that every news network wants to interview him, and high-profile attorneys are offering their services. If Sean offers his services, I’m in!

Why is this all happening now?

I don’t believe it’s Graham’s support for El Presidente. Nor do I think it’s his seemingly racist views. I believe it’s because, for the first time since becoming a Senator (in 2003), he is in danger of losing his job. Many polls predict that a young, black Democrat could beat Lindsey in November. Days after this column comes out, South Carolina will have their primary. When the dust settles, Jaime Harrison will likely be the Democratic nominee.

Some suggest this would not be the first time Graham would be up against a young, black man – but to make such a claim would be beneath me. It also may not be the first time Graham was beneath a young, black man!

Then there’s Lea Michele, who I always heard was “difficult.” Then we heard from Samantha Ware, who appeared on “Glee.” In response to a Tweet Lea made last week about standing with the protesters, Ware wrote (in all CAPS, which I will change): “Remember when you made my first television gig a living hell? Cause Ill never forget. I believe you told everyone that if you had the opportunity you would ‘shit in my wig’ amongst other traumatic micro-agressions that made me question a career in Hollywood.” Similar stories were shared by Amber Riley, Melissa Benoist, Alex Newell, and Willam Belli. Michele’s response? “Whether it was my privileged position and perspective that cause me to be perceived as insensitive or inappropriate at times or whether it was just my immaturity and me just being unnecessarily difficult, I apologize for my behavior and for any pain which I have caused. We can all grow and change and I have definitely used these past several months to reflect on my own shortcomings.” This sounds kinda like an apology I once gave to a close friend. “I don’t know what you’re angry about, and I don’t think I did anything wrong. But I’m sorry you’re upset.” Thanks…no thanks.

I suspect we’ll hear more about Lea this week on “Billy Masters LIVE!”. On Thursday, June 11th, we’ll be celebrating LA Pride 50. Momma will be co-hosting with me, since we co-hosted the festivities in West Hollywood for years. We’ll be joined by many people who worked with us both onstage and behind the scenes – including the aforementioned Willam Belli. And on Tuesday, June 9th, #BMLive will be celebrating the life of Joan Rivers. Many people who worked with Auntie Joan will be sharing anecdotes – including Charles Busch and Jackie Beat. Tune in on BillyMasters.com/TV.

Continuing our celebration of Pride Month, last week was a dragapalooza on Billy Masters LIVE! Over our two shows we had Frank DeCaro discussing his book “Drag: Combing Through the Big Wigs of Show Business”, and four of the greatest exponents of the art form – Lady Bunny, Lypsinka, Simply Barbra, and Jimmy James. And, for the first time in 16 years, I publicly celebrated my anniversary to gay porn legend Kurt Young. You can see all of those shows on our website or on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV.

Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen were responsible for two of the most enjoyable hours of television I had in a long time. The duo appeared on the finale of celebrity “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”. First Anderson Cooper was in the hot seat aided by Andy Cohen. Then they switched positions – which is a recurring fantasy I have about one of them. Anderson walked away with $500K going to provide Kevlar vests for police dogs, while Cohen only made $32K for Planned Parenthood. In his defense, all three of us got that last question wrong.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Gary in Maine. “Did you see Jason Derulo as ‘Spiderman’? What is it about him and his penis? Why is he always showing it off?”

If you had Jason Derulo’s penis, wouldn’t you be showing it off? In the video, Jason is winched into a snug “Spiderman” costume, which features something Tobey Maguire never had – a large, cylindrical mass cutting across his nether regions. Perhaps we should feel sorry for Derulo. Maybe he’s one of those guys who is simply always hard. I’ve known men like this – such a burden, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When Derulo is shooting something other than spider webs, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. What is that milky white substance? Check it out at www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is lactose-free. However, we’re not fun-free. On Mondays, this column comes out. Then we have new episodes of “Billy Masters LIVE!” every Tuesday and Thursday. Plus you can see all of the past episodes if you subscribe (for free) to Billy Masters TV on YouTube. You want more? No problem. Just send a note to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before Lady Graham decorates her office to resemble “Downton Abbey”! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Aaron Schock finally came out last week. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

This may be the last column you read from me. In just a few days, I will be going under the knife. I know what many of you are thinking – it’s about time! However, this is not elective surgery. While I have every confidence in my surgical team, anything can happen. If we’ve learned nothing from Auntie Joan and Donda, it is possible to come out of a minor procedure…DEAD! So, should that happen, well, it’s been a great couple of decades.

Of course, the last thing I want to do is be spending time in a hospital – ground zero for the coronavirus. They say the people most at risk are the old and the infirm. I may not be old, but it doesn’t get more infirm than being sliced open like a sturgeon. But you know who is really at risk? The Pope. The last time the Pontiff was seen in public, he was sneezing and coughing and hacking. He has since cancelled everything on his schedule. While the official word is that he’s been tested and is negative, there has been a single case of the coronavirus reported within Vatican City. And that got one of my friends thinking – if something happens to the Pope, how will they have a Conclave of Cardinals? I say they vote by app – perhaps they can hire those geniuses who made the one for the Iowa Caucus. Then we can see white or black smoke on our cell phones. That’s me – always thinking ahead.

He’s been quiet for a while, but last week Aaron Schock surfaced in Rio. And he was all over sexy Eliad Cohen. Now, I know what you’re all thinking – Aaron Schock is dating that little Cuban boy who came to America on an inner tube? No, that was Elián González, who I believe is currently working on Bernie Sanders’ campaign. This is Eliad Cohen – a successful Israeli circuit party promoter (and occasional actor and model). If you didn’t know who they were, you’d probably think Aaron and Eliad were just another hot gay circuit couple. But, of course, people do know who they are, and photographed them…as one does.  And, as this one does, I’ll post them on BillyMasters.com – along with all those other photos (and videos) of every inch of Aaron.

And then Aaron did something unexpected – he came out.  In a long, rambling essay. I really would have preferred some illustrations – as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.  But, OK, I read it. Here’s my two cents. I don’t really care one iota about Aaron Schock. His minor political career didn’t interest me; his conservative views don’t interest me; and his voting record on anti-LGBTQ initiatives doesn’t interest me (but, should you like details, he supported DOMA and opposed DADT repeal). I realize I’m in the minority in my apathy – if social media means anything.  The gays posting online are livid that in Schock’s statement, he never said the words, “I’m sorry.”

Here’s my question – why does anyone need to hear “I’m sorry” from someone so insignificant in their lives? Why are you elevating him to that importance? If you read his missive, it’s clear he’s a damaged person from a very dysfunctional family. He has demons he hasn’t even dealt with – again, not my problem. However, even I, the apathetic Billy Masters, can imagine the horror when he telephoned his mother to tell her he is gay just before going home for Easter, only to be told that he should turn around – he wasn’t welcome. I have no idea what that would feel like, but I’m willing to imagine it wouldn’t be fun. I suspect if he were less attractive, he’d probably get a bit more empathy from most gay men. And, if those haters were really honest, they’d admit that given half a chance, they’d sleep with him.

Continuing her string of appearances in this column, it’s time for yet another RuPaul story. For those of you who have been waiting to binge watch “AJ and the Queen,” be forewarned – this is not only the first season, it’s the last. Netflix cancelled it last week. RuPaul Tweeted, “End of the road for ‘AJ and The Queen.’ Netflix has decided to not extend our trip across America. Thank you for all the love & support. We’re so very proud of the work.”

Onto news about a reboot you’ll be able to see wherever you are.  Amazon Prime Video is producing new episodes of “The Kids In The Hall.” Actually, it’s being produced by Canadian Amazon Original Series, which only makes sense since the original show originated in Canada.  The entire cast has signed on for eight episodes.

With that, it’s time to end yet another column  Even when I’m gone, my website will carry on.  So check out BillyMasters.com – the site that can (hopefully) raise the dead! While I am certain I’ll survive this major operation, one can never be too sure. So, if you have a question, you have two options: hold a séance, or send an e-mail to [email protected]. Either way, I hope to get back to you before Danny Newman slides into Schock…literally. So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Jussie Smollett pleaded not guilty to six counts of felony disorderly conduct.

“They think I’m fucking dumb. I’m literally painted out to be this big, dumb idiot.” – Pete Davidson says what he believes his “Saturday Night Live” castmates think about him. I have my doubts. Nobody uses the word “big” in reference to Pete!

Melania Trump recently proclaimed that not only has she never had plastic surgery, she’s against it, including any form of injections. If I were her, I certainly wouldn’t want anything within arm’s reach pumped into me. Countering her stance is a former roommate, who alleges that when the former Slovenian model/skier/whatever came back from a two-week vacation, she was considerably more “buxom.” Developing.

Just to keep you in the loop, Jussie Smollett formally pleaded not guilty on six counts of felony disorderly conduct. When he was charged last year, there were 16 counts. So on the positive side, they’re going down – something Jussie ought to get used to should he spend any time in the big house. He is due next in court on March 18.

You may recall that little Frankie Muniz appeared on “Dancing with the Stars” two years ago. He recently dusted off his dancing shoes when he found himself in a dressing room with one of the show’s professional hoofers, Keo Motsepe. The duo doffed their tops and performed a semi-synchronized rendition of Ginuwine’s “Pony.” When posting the video, Muniz said, “I know I’m going to regret this later.” I suppose the only way to know for sure is to watch it on BillyMasters.com.

I keep reading about these shows Oprah is doing around the country. People are paying big bucks to see O’s “Vision Tour.” Winfrey might wanna have her vision checked because last week, she fell onstage. During a “performance” in Los Angeles, Oprah said, “Wellness to me means all things in balance, and balance doesn’t mean all things are equal or at peace at all times.” And with that, she lost her balance and landed on her ass. Actually, that doesn’t do the fall justice. She kinda stumbled around, almost looked like she was about to attempt a cartwheel, and then fell flat on her ass. I can describe it so accurately because, yes, we have the video on BillyMasters.com – and it may be the best video since Beyoncé fell down that flight of stairs. Anyway, when she fell, the audience gasped. Oprah got up and laughed off the incident, saying, “It’s nice to be talking about balance and falling.”

One of the biggest hits on Broadway is “To Kill a Mockingbird.” When the show opened last year, it starred Jeff Daniels. Then he left and the role of Atticus Finch was taken over by Ed Harris. It’s just been announced that when Harris leaves Broadway on April 19, he will be replaced by Greg Kinnear. Let’s play a little game I like to call “Who turned down that role?” Because, lovely as Kinnear may be, does anyone really think he was the producers’ first choice? Don’t you think there are a few actors in between Ed Harris and Greg Kinnear? OK, so maybe they couldn’t get Scott Baio. But what is David Faustino doing? By the by, the press release indicates that this will be Kinnear’s Broadway debut. Shocking!

For years, the stars of “The First Wives Club” have talked about making a sequel. While nothing ever came of that, they’re doing the next best thing. Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn and Diane Keaton will reunite for “Family Jewels,” which is described as a multigenerational comedy. The ladies are forced to spend Christmas with their children and grandchildren after the man they were all once married to suddenly dies. And I’m sure hilarity will ensue.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Tyler in Dallas: “Do you remember that hot criminal who became a model? Everyone was talking about him a couple years ago. Whatever happened to him? He was gorgeous.”

That would be Jeremy Meeks, who strutted his stuff on the runway during New York Fashion Week after being released from prison in 2017. The so-called “hot felon” got a whole lotta media attention when his mug shot went viral in 2014. After serving just over two years in prison for possession of a firearm (he’d previously done nine years in prison for grand theft felony), he made the most of his second/third chance by cashing in on his chiseled cheekbones and pouty lips. If you’re one of Jeremy’s fans, you’ll be pleased to know that you can see a whole lot more of him. We’ve got a number of photos where he shows off every inch (close to double digits) of his excited appendage.

Apparently prison agreed with him – as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re trading one convict for another, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Be sure to visit BillyMasters.com – the site that finds the best stories in the oddest places. If you have a question, send it off to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before the fat lady sings (or falls). Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Wendy Williams got into hot water last week on her syndicated eponymous talk show. (screen capture via Talk WW Productions Inc.)

“I thought, ‘Why does he have to do that?’ I mean, it seemed like he was living a fine life. Everyone who knew him knew he was gay.”  Dame Joan Collins discusses UK personality Phillip Schofield coming out at 57 years old during a recap of the Oscars on “Good Morning Britain.” She added, “We take it for granted today that people are gay, or lesbian, or trans or whatever.” When she got to that last part, she gestured to fellow panelist, Perez Hilton.

In news that will surprise nobody, this year’s Oscars telecast brought in the lowest TV ratings in history. That’s the bad news. The good news is that it was the most watched television special since last year’s Oscars.

Yes, the Academy Awards still beat out the Grammy Awards and Golden Globes. What does that mean? That nobody is watching any of these award shows. There are too many options and the audience is too fragmented. I suppose they could boost the ratings somehow. Maybe they could introduce an audience vote. Or a swimsuit competition.

During a discussion of women celebrating Galentine’s Day instead of Valentine’s Day, Wendy Williams found herself in hot water.

“Well, first of all, if you’re a man and you’re clapping, you’re not even a part of this. You don’t even understand the rules of the day. It’s women going out and getting saucy and then going back home. You’re not a part.” Fine. Then she added, “I don’t care if you’re gay. You don’t get a mensie every 28 days. You can do a lot that we do, but I get offended by the idea that we go through something you will never go through.”

And here comes that extra step. “And stop wearing our skirts and our heels. Just sayin’. Girls, what do we have for ourselves?” Suddenly people began accusing Wendy of being homo- or transphobic (a few supporters felt she was defending the “appropriation of womanhood”). The next day, Wendy made a video in which she apologized and expressed love for her LGBTQ fans. She didn’t mention Billy Porter by name — who, speaking of the Oscars, looked (and sounded!) fabulous as usual — but as tinseltown’s most famous gender-bender, it’s a safe bet he inspired the rant.

Some sources are claiming that the next “Spider-man” film will include a boyfriend for the superhero! I have my doubts this will happen, but here’s how the rumor got started. Way back in 2013, Andrew Garfield said the following: “What if (Spider-man’s girlfriend) is a dude? Why can’t we discover that Peter is exploring his sexuality? It’s hardly even groundbreaking! So why can’t he be gay? Why can’t he be into boys?” Andrew brought this idea up to the producers and they balked. However, the current rumor claims that Sony is so eager for Garfield to return to the franchise, they’d now consider a bi-Spidey. We’ll see.

A clip recently dropped of Robert Pattinson as Batman. Well, they say it’s Robert Pattinson as Batman, but who really knows. Were there no lights on this set? Even a flashlight? ‘Cause, for all I know, it could be J-Lo in that Batman suit! I suppose it’s possible that Pattinson has figured out how to say, “I’m Batman” in that husky, Brenda Vaccaro type of voice. But, physically, he seems to ooze all the raw masculinity of a young Kristy McNichol.

It was a busy week celebrating your beloved Billy’s birthday. At long last, I got to see Del Shores’ latest play “This Side of Crazy,” which is playing at Los Angeles’ Zephyr Theatre until March 8. The play concerns a family of gospel performers — the matriarch, who writes songs for various acclaimed artists, and her three daughters, who were once a chart-topping trio. Tragedy splintered the family decades ago, but now there is an opportunity for a reunion. The story is slow to get moving and lots of ground is covered repeatedly. But Shores’ ability to balance a dramatic narrative with clever dialogue keeps the audience entertained and never seems forced, even in some of the longer, complicated speeches. I felt the set design worked against the story, as did some of the direction. But the cast could hardly be bettered, anchored by Sharon Garrison as the matriarch and daytime drama favorite Bobbie Eakes as the eldest daughter. Get more tickets and info at delshores.com.

The following night, I was privileged to see the great Joanna Gleason at the Renberg Theatre at the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center. The Tony winner (original Baker’s Wife from “Into the Woods”) constructed a show, “Out of the Eclipse,” which chronicles the pain of losing both parents in a four-month period (her father was Monty Hall).

Gleason has selected a diverse array of songs to tell her story and is aided beautifully by her band and backup singers. She even brings out hubby Chris Sarandon for a duet. At the end of this musical journey, Gleason realizes that, “we are on our own out here, but that does not mean that we are alone,” which sounds a lot like something she might have picked up from Mr. Sondheim, whose work was notably absent from the setlist.  The show is hitting the road, so get tickets if you get the chance. The New York and L.A. dates sold out quickly.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Simon in London: “Will Daniel Craig really show all in his final outing as James Bond? That’s the rumor I’ve heard. And what do you hear about the film? I HATE the song.”

I recently told someone that the theme song needs to be Bassey-fied. As to the film, I know very little except that Mr. Craig will not show all. However, Craig has previously shown his naughty bits fleetingly in several films — most notably “Some Voices.” I’ve always contended that it’s unfair to judge a flaccid penis running around on the set. Perhaps it was chilly. And maybe, just maybe, it’s a grower. Decide for yourself on billymasters.com.

When 007’s penis is for your eyes only, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Just to keep you all in the loop, I will be heading to South Beach for the National LGBTQ Task Force’s Winter Party Festival. The festivities take place March 4-10, and I’m told that discounted tickets are practically sold out. So what are you waiting for? Get over to winterparty.com. If you’ve got a question for me, send it to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Spider-man and Batman hook-up. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

Liza Minnelli on the cover of Variety.

“Thank you. I will drink until next morning.” — Bong Joon-Ho, winner of Best Director for “Parasite.”

When people look back on the 2020 Oscars…well, God only knows what they’ll think. Here’s my general thought – confusion. Every time someone popped up around the theater to introduce a segment, I was bewildered. First off, I had no idea where to look. It was like a celebrity version of “Where’s Waldo” – minus the celebrities. Who were these people? I suppose using lesser performers made sense. You couldn’t have Diane Ladd hanging on for dear life from the rafters. I will definitely remember some of the outstanding performances. How fabulous was Cynthia Erivo singing “Stand Up” from “Harriet”? Even better, how fabulous was Cynthia keeping her gaze on the camera circling her to the commercial break? As great as she was and as great as the song was, I have to give it up to Elton – especially after his kick-ass rendition of “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again.” Admittedly, he had to look at music and lyrics (it’s not a song he’s performed often), but it was touching to see him and Bernie Taupin win their first Oscar.

Let me give a warning to any future award show singers – don’t go anywhere near Rita Wilson with a microphone. She’s got sheet music in her purse and is ready to hit the stage. Chris Rock and Steve Martin showed how valuable comedians are to an awards show. But, it’s not as easy as you think. The night before the Oscars, the two were at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and tried out their routine, including several jokes that didn’t make it to air. I believe James Corden and Rebel Wilson are carrying the mantle of Bob Barker by reminding us to spay and neuter our pets. I do have one question – do Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig have no gay friends? Not even one?

Without a doubt, the winner of the Faye Dunaway Award for Award Presentation is Diane Keaton. My God, the only thing she didn’t do was exclaim “La La Land!” It’s sad when Keanu is the coherent one. On the flip side, Martin Scorsese always looks like he’s having such a good time – even when he lost Best Director. Lastly, after the first award of the night, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Scientologists had Tom Cruise on suicide watch.

I’m assuming most of you don’t read “Variety” religiously. So it follows that most of you didn’t see the photo of Liza Minnelli on the cover of the magazine’s “Oscars” issue. If you did, you would have seen a youthful-appearing Minnelli, clutching an Oscar to her bosom, perched high upon a director’s chair, with one leg precariously swinging over the arm. This is in sharp contrast to the Liza who is usually captured by the paparazzi having enormous difficulty walking, and who approaches stairs as if she’s being asked to negotiate a medieval gauntlet. Which begs the question: How many people did it take to get Liza into this unusual position? And is she still stuck in the chair? The interview really seems secondary, but it did provide one illuminating moment. Given her protection of her mother’s image, and the fact that Renee Zellweger was nominated for (and ultimately won) an Oscar for playing her, the topic had to come up. Minnelli admits to not seeing (and having no interest in seeing) the flick, but graciously added, “I hope she had a good time making it.” Now could someone please help me out of this chair?!

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Roger in Detroit: “I get a very gay feeling about [celebrity DJ] Calvin Harris. Maybe it’s ’cause he’s so hot. But why did he stop doing underwear ads? And do you have anything hotter?”

I first became aware of Calvin when billboards started popping up around Los Angeles featuring his torso and his name – an odd way of promoting a DJ. But we’re in a time when one cannot be a great DJ or painter or aluminum siding installer without having a 6-pack and pecs. Or maybe that’s just what I look for in someone banging around my home. With that notoriety came the underwear spread for Armani. That was around the same time as his liaison with Taylor Swift. Perhaps coincidentally, the Armani campaign ended when Calvin’s relationship with Taylor went kaput. Still, it made him comfortable enough in his skin to take more candid shots – such as the one on his manager’s birthday when he was just standing there in his fully packed boxer briefs. We’ve gotten a peek at what’s inside those briefs and, while most DJs specialize in 12-inches, Calvin’s sporting a good, solid eight inches. And, lest you question the veracity of the photo, our forensic experts insist that certain moles on that distinctive torso line up perfectly with this photo. Check it out for yourself on BillyMasters.com.

When nothing comes between me and my Calvin, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. What a long night! I must confess, I’m exhausted. But let me quickly remind you to check out BillyMasters.com – the site that’ll perk you up. If you have a question, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Liza gets out of that chair! So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

A new docu-series spends a little too much time on Aaron Hernandez’s sexual orienation.

“I better hear no lip-syncing tomorrow.” — Lady Gaga, from the stage of her Miami show on All Super Bowl’s Eve. She added, “I love you, J. Lo. I love you Shakira.” I think she may love them a little less today. Shakira didn’t even attempt to hide her lip-syncing, while Lopez spent most of her stage time pole dancing.

My favorite part of the Super Bowl is the commercials. This year, we had Molly Ringwald hawking avocados, Winona Ryder doing something in the snow, MC Hammer selling Cheetos, a “Queer Eye” pushing Pop Tarts, Ellen and Portia extolling the virtues of Alexa, and a trio of Bostonians (Chris Evans, John Krasinski and Rachel Dratch) endorsing Hyundai. I was excited when I heard Sofia Vergara was in a commercial called, “When We Come Together.” Alas, it was nothing like I expected.

Then there was the spot for Sabra hummus starring Kim Chi and Miz Cracker.  Many media outlets reported that this was the first time drag queens appeared in a Super Bowl commercial. Not true. Way back during the 2000 Super Bowl, RuPaul starred in a commercial for WebEx, a video conferencing site. Since the supermodel of the world wasn’t yet a household name, the commercial began with her saying, “This meeting is a real drag.” Check it out on BillyMasters.com.

Many of you have asked me about the Netflix docuseries, “Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez.” There’s been a lot of criticism that the show focuses too much on the former tight end’s sexual orientation. It even kicks off with the song “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows.” Subtle. In addition to his brain injuries, there is conjecture that his being outed on the radio led to his suicide two days later (an allegation echoed by Aaron’s brother). The doc spent an inordinate amount of time blaming his violent tendencies on his internal sexual conflict.

I’ve previously told you the allegations of former Marine, Dennis SanSoucie. He claims to have had a “relationship” with Aaron from 7th grade until they were juniors in high school. He also states that while Hernandez didn’t want to be gay, he “participated” with many people. “I was a small piece of Aaron’s sexual activity.” And yet, to the best of my knowledge, no other “participants” have come forward. Dennis says Aaron was terrified of his father finding out. “Mr. Hernandez was well-known as a man’s man; a father that slapped the faggot right out of you.” However, Mr. Hernandez died when his son was 16. It seems that rather than free Aaron, it made him snap. Of course, his mother shacking up with his favorite cousin’s husband probably didn’t help.

I don’t think the doc ever mentioned Aaron having beards or girlfriends – aside from his fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins. In a recent interview, Shayanna weighed in on all the speculation. “You can’t describe someone’s sexuality without them being here. Although I’ve had a child with Aaron, I still can’t tell you what he was feeling inside.” Her words came back to me during a sequence in the documentary where they played a prison call between the couple. When he mentions being in “an all-male jail…besides ‘those things'”, Shayanna chastises him. “Stop calling them ‘those things.’ Stop it. That is so rude. They are called transgender. Don’t call them ‘those things.'”

Across the pond, “Doctor Who” is making history. For those of you who don’t know, the titular character of the venerable series has been played by 13 actors since 1963. I read an article that “Doctor Who” is being played by Jodie Whittaker. Well, I got all excited – the little boy from “Family Affair” finally got a gig! Then I realized Johnny Whitaker PLAYED Jody (with a Y) on the show, twin to Buffy who died of an overdose as a teen. This Jodie Whittaker is a woman, and she’s been Doctor Who since 2017. The person playing the latest incarnation is actually Jo Martin, which is historic because Jo is the first Doctor Who of color (to say nothing of a female Doctor Who of color).  And how clever of the Brits to do this right in the middle of Brexit and Megxit.

By the by, guess who returned to “Doctor Who?” Our very own John Barrowman – as Captain Jack, naturally. Why did it take Barrowman 10 years to rejoin to the franchise? Apparently the previous showrunner was not a fan. However, Chris Chibnall was recently hired – and he had previously been the showrunner for “Torchwood” (the “Doctor Who” spin-off starring Barrowman as Captain Jack). So that led the way to his return. Although Barrowman’s appearance was a one-off, I am told he could be back in the future.

When I can write so much about the Super Bowl without ever mentioning the game, it’s time to end yet another column. Let me quickly remind you to check out BillyMasters.com – the site that sticks to what it knows. If you have a question, drop an e-mail to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Meghan Markle is cast as the next Doctor Who!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.