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The Balance of Politics and Friendship: How I Balance It All

Are political disagreements worth losing friends over?

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Graphic by Gisselle Palomera (Courtesy of Canva Stock Photos)

I was recently thinking about how campaign season has a way of testing everything—patience, endurance, and sometimes even friendships. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of politics, where every issue feels personal and each opinion is louder than the last.

So, what happens when you and a close friend find yourselves on opposite sides of the ballot?

Does it mean the end of a friendship?

I’ve been struggling with that question lately because, to be honest, a few of my close friends have revealed themselves to be supporters of candidates who are known racists. Even worse, some have thrown their weight behind Donald Trump. It’s a tough pill to swallow. I never expected to find myself on the opposite side of the political spectrum from people I care about. I thought our values were aligned.

What now?

For a while, I wondered if those friendships were over. How could I maintain a bond with someone who backs a person whose platform actively harms people like me and those I advocate for? I had to take a step back and ask myself some hard questions: Is it possible to hold on to the people you love, even when their political choices seem to go against your very identity? Is there room for disagreement on issues that hit so close to home?

The truth is, I’m still working through it. I’ve had to set boundaries with some friends because the weight of their political choices is too much to carry into every conversation. Plus, I am at that age where I will cut a fill-in-the-blank off in the blink of an eye. But, I’ve also realized that cutting people off won’t change the fact that we live in a country where this divide exists. It won’t make the issues go away, and it won’t create a path toward understanding.

Instead, I’m trying (and it’s getting harder and harder), to focus on open dialogue— though it’s far from easy. I’ve learned to prioritize my mental health and protect my energy while still trying to have honest conversations.

Sometimes that means taking a break from political discussions altogether with certain people, especially when it starts to feel like we’re not hearing each other. Friendship, like anything worth having, takes work. It also requires mutual respect, even in the face of stark disagreements.

Here’s the thing: disagreements are inevitable, but respect is non-negotiable. Maybe my friends support a candidate I can’t stand or believe in policies I think are harmful causing me to give them the side eye.  That doesn’t make them any less of a friend—it just makes them human, with their own experiences and viewpoints. Maintaining a friendship during campaign season is about knowing when to have those heated debates and when to set them aside for something more important—like the shared memories, laughs, and loyalty that brought us together in the first place.

My friendships aren’t just built on politics—they’re built on shared experiences, history, and trust. It’s tough to reconcile all of that with the reality of today’s political climate, but I’m learning that holding on to a friendship doesn’t mean compromising my values. It means knowing when to stand firm and when to let the conversation rest so that we don’t lose each other completely after Election Day.

Friendship doesn’t have to end on Election Day. The key is understanding that what’s on the ballot is temporary, but the people I care about are not. So this election season, I’m choosing to keep the conversation civil, listen without needing to agree, and remind myself that the friendships I’ve built, matter more than any political argument.

Because when the yard signs come down and the votes are counted, I’d rather still have my friends standing next to me.


Jasmyne A. Cannick is an award-winning journalist, Democratic political strategist, and advocate.  Find her at iamjasmyne.com.

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Ed Buck’s appeal: White privilege testing the system’s limits — again

Ed Buck might be trading his money and privilege for a get out of jail free card

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(Graphic Courtesy of Gisselle Palomera/Canva Stock Images)

Here we are again. Democratic political donor Ed Buck wants out of prison, and surprise, surprise — he’s using his money to try and buy his way out. 

Ed Buck, a one-time celebrated and sought-after donor to the Democratic candidates and elected officials in California, was convicted in 2021 in the deaths of two Black gay men — 26-year-old Gemmel Moore and 55-year-old Timothy Dean. 

A real Jekyll and Hyde, it was soon discovered after the death of Moore in 2017 that Buck was known in certain circles as the white man in West Hollywood who had a Tuskegee Experiment-like fetish that included shooting crystal meth into conscious or unconscious young Black men that he picked up off the street or via dating hookup websites.

Both Moore and Dean died of crystal meth overdoses a year and a half apart in Buck’s West Hollywood apartment. All in all, Buck was convicted on nine charges– two counts of distribution of methamphetamine resulting in death, four counts of distribution of methamphetamine, one count of maintaining a drug-involved premises, and two counts of enticement to travel in interstate commerce for prostitution.

Monday, I attended the oral arguments in Buck’s appeal before the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in Pasadena, Calif. Oral arguments are the last step in the appeal process before the Court of Appeal makes a decision. 

We always knew Buck was going to appeal his sentence. We knew that before we walked out of the courthouse when he was convicted in 2021. Since this is real life, and not an episode of “Law & Order,” yes — it took until this year for the Court of Appeals to hear arguments in his appeal.

Buck wasn’t in court.  He was represented by his new legal team.  After Buck was convicted, he hired a new legal team that didn’t include the two Black attorney’s who represented him in front of the jury. His attorneys are now white. 

So what were Buck’s reasons for why his conviction should be overturned?  Exactly what you would expect.

Insufficient evidence, the admission of evidence, witness testimony, and I could go on and on. 

It’s like he’s trying to dress up his deplorable actions in a nice legal package, hoping that the justices will sympathize with his twisted version of events. But I see through it.

Ed Buck was sentenced to 30 years in prison for his crimes. Thirty years for the lives of two men who deserved to live, to thrive, to see their dreams come true. Thirty years for a pattern of predatory behavior that targeted vulnerable Black men. And yet, even after the evidence, the testimonies, and the heartbreak of families left behind, Buck still refuses to accept responsibility for what he did.

His appeal is not just an insult to the justice system — it’s an insult to the very communities he preyed on. For years, Buck’s actions were ignored by law enforcement, swept under the rug because his victims were Black, queer, and often marginalized. It took relentless organizing, protesting, and reporting to finally bring Buck to justice. Community advocates fought tirelessly to ensure Buck couldn’t continue his deadly behavior unchecked.

Now, as Buck appeals his conviction, we are reminded that this fight is far from over. 

Could Ed Buck go free?

Harvey Weinstein’s 2020 rape conviction was overturned because the court found the trial judge unfairly allowed testimony against Weinstein based on allegations that weren’t part of the case. Pennsylvania’s highest court threw out Bill Cosby’s sexual assault conviction and released him from prison ruling that the prosecutor who brought the case was bound by his predecessor’s agreement not to charge Cosby. And more recently, Lyle and Erik Menendez, who were sentenced for killing their parents in 1989, have a reason for hope after Los Angeles district attorney George Gascón says he’ll review new evidence. So yes, technically Ed Buck could go free.

Appeals are part of the legal process, yes, but they also have a way of prolonging the pain for victims’ families and for the communities that were harmed. This isn’t just a case of one man trying to reduce his sentence — this is about the system, yet again, giving space for white privilege to test its limits.

Ed Buck’s appeal is a continuation of his narcissism, a refusal to face the consequences of his actions. He wants to rewrite history, make himself the victim, when in fact the real victims have been buried, and their families are left to pick up the pieces while those who managed to survive him will never be the same. We can’t let that narrative take hold. 

For now, we wait as the court deliberates, with no set timeline for a decision. The court could come back in as little as three months or take as long as a year. The good thing is, Buck will remain in custody awaiting their decision.

In the meantime, the Gemmel Moore wrongful death civil lawsuit against Buck is scheduled for trial in November.

Jasmyne Cannick is an award-winning journalist and Democratic political strategist who worked to call attention to Ed Buck and the deaths of Gemmel Moore and Timothy Dean and the founder of the advocacy group Justice 4 Gemmel and All of Ed Buck’s Victims. Find her at iamjasmyne.com.

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10 reminders of why we must vote for Harris

A strong LGBTQ turnout could swing election in key states

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Vice President Kamala Harris (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

There are a million reasons to vote for Kamala Harris over Donald Trump but here are 10 of the best. If you’re not feeling the burn about casting your ballot, please remember just how close our last two elections were and how dire the 2016 consequences for the country. Indeed, a strong turnout by LGBTQ and allied voters could prove decisive in some key states.

So let’s review 10 reasons why it’s not only important — but essential — that all LGBTQ and allied voters show up to vote for Kamala Harris.  

#10 The opportunity to make history. For the second time in 16 years, America has the exciting chance to make a historic choice for the White House. Kamala Harris would be the first woman and first woman of color to serve as president if elected. It’s not the #1 reason to vote for her but it’s a pretty damn good ancillary benefit.

#9 The chance to send Trump into oblivion. After eight long years of commanding endless mainstream media attention for his ever-expanding list of racist, sexist, xenophobic, and transphobic attacks, we have the chance to finally dispatch ourselves of the toxic Trump. He’s insulted everyone from Gold Star families and the disabled to Meryl Streep and Rosie O’Donnell. That there’s anyone left willing to vote for him is mindboggling. (I’m talking to you Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz.) Imagine how much our collective blood pressure will ease without having to endure wall-to-wall coverage of his every social media post. “Morning Joe” will be hard pressed to continue without Trump to mock but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

#8 To preserve trans military service. In his first term, Trump tweeted that trans people were barred from serving their country “in any capacity.” It was a cruel stunt that damaged careers and led to a direct uptick in hate crimes targeting the trans community. There’s no doubt he would reinstate that ban on day one. It’s ironic that Trump goes after brave members of the military given his own “bone spur” excuse to avoid Vietnam. None of his kids has served either, of course. Trump has referred to dead service members as “losers” and “suckers.” That comment alone — corroborated by his chief of staff John Kelly — should be disqualifying.

#7 To continue growing the economy. I’ve never understood all the naysayers who complain about the U.S. economy, which is envied the world over. No other country emerged from COVID as strong as we did, defying all expert predictions of recession — record stock market numbers, record employment, rapidly declining inflation and interest rates. The Democrats have never been good at messaging and it’s frustrating that they allow Trump to talk down our economy at every rally without a coherent response. The truth is our economy is strong and Harris’s plans to tax the wealthiest and invest in small businesses has been endorsed by leading economists over Trump’s ridiculous and doomed idea of starting a trade war with China over tariffs. The LGBTQ community is disproportionally entrepreneurial, so Harris’s tax benefits for small business owners will boost us tremendously.

#6 To aid Ukraine. The Blade has traveled to Poland and other Eastern European countries to cover the plight of LGBTQ migrants fleeing Ukraine after Russia’s invasion. Their stories are heartbreaking. We have an obligation to stand by Ukraine along with Western Europe to stop the murderous Putin and preserve democracy. Trump will cave to Putin’s demands that he be allowed to annex large swaths of Ukrainian territory, emboldening the Russian dictator and encouraging further incursions into other neighboring countries. 

#5 To stop Project 2025 in its tracks. We have documented the anti-LGBTQ horrors that await us if Project 2025 becomes the governing blueprint for a second Trump administration. The assaults are too many to recap here so just remember these lines from the document: “The next conservative President must make the institutions of American civil society hard targets for woke culture warriors. This starts with deleting the terms sexual orientation and gender identity, diversity, equity and inclusion, gender, gender equality, gender awareness, gender-sensitive….out of every federal rule, agency regulation, contracts, grant regulation and piece of legislation that exists.”

#4 To protect a woman’s right to control her body. Predictably, women are now dying as a result of Trump’s abortion bans, as reported by ProPublica. And it will only get worse if Trump is re-elected and his congressional allies push through a national abortion ban as they’ve promised to do. If you think this isn’t about you, consider that Roe v. Wade provided the foundation for the Obergefell marriage ruling, which Justices Alito and Thomas have already said should be revisited. 

#3 Supreme Court. Speaking of the high court, there is credible speculation that if Trump wins, Alito and Thomas will be pressured to retire, giving Trump an unprecedented five picks and a MAGA majority. That’s game over for a generation and the end of Obergefell marriage equality, Lawrence privacy rights, and more. 

#2 To preserve and advance LGBTQ equality. The last 20 years have brought unimaginable progress for LGBTQ rights, from marriage equality to the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” to Bostock’s conferring employment protections to most of us, and so much more. There’s more to do, especially given the anti-LGBTQ state laws passed around the country giving rise to book bans, bathroom bans, and dangerous anti-trans healthcare restrictions. A Trump presidency jeopardizes all of our recent gains and puts us back on defense. A Harris presidency ensures we continue to move ahead and gives us a chance to undo some of the recent setbacks. 

#1 To defend democracy. Trump and J.D. Vance whine a lot about criticism that they are undermining democracy, claiming these accusations are to blame for two recent assassination attempts. For someone who trafficks in violent rhetoric all the time, it’s a brazen and hypocritical claim. There’s an old saying about living by the sword that Trump should Google. But it’s not hyperbole to suggest that a Trump presidency would represent the end of democracy. He’s already incited an insurrection after badly losing the 2020 election. Trump and Project 2025 promise to gut the federal government, lock up critics and journalists, allow Putin to do “whatever the hell he wants,” privatize critical government functions, ban books and DEI, and even to ban pornography. The list goes on. Yes, it’s the end of American democracy if he wins. 

But this election isn’t just about rejecting Trump. It’s also about embracing the promise of a Harris administration, which would bolster the economy, respect human rights, fight for equality, combat climate change, fix the border, advance gun reform, and promote many other common sense, centrist policies supported by a majority of Americans.

There you have it, a succinct reminder of what’s at stake on Nov. 5. So vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and send a message that character still matters, that America remains a trusted defender of human rights, and that we won’t let a dangerous convicted felon anywhere near the Oval Office again.


Kevin Naff is editor of the Washington Blade. Reach him at [email protected].

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