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‘Biggest Loser’ host Bob Harper opens up about ‘widowmaker’ heart attack

the trainer says ‘I was dead’ following the medical emergency

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Bob Harper, gay news, Washington Blade
Bob Harper, gay news, Washington Blade

(Screenshot via ‘Today.’)

Bob Harper got candid about the massive heart attack he suffered while working out at a New York CityĀ gym in FebruaryĀ in an interview with the “Today” show on Tuesday.

“I was in full cardiac arrest. I was, I mean, not to be dramatic, I was dead,” Harper, 51, told host Savannah Guthrie. “I was on that ground, dead.”

“I had what they call a ‘widow-maker,”’ Harper, who came out as gay in 2013, continued. “It was a 6% survival rate, and the fact that there were doctors in the gym when I had the heart attack saved my life.”

Two doctors who happened to be at the gym at the same time were able to revive him with CPR. He was then transferred to a hospital where he was in a coma for two days and hospitalized for a week.

“I was like Dory from ‘Finding Nemo’ because I had this short-term memory, so I was reliving the heart attack over and over again,” Harper says. “I was like, wait, why am I here? What happened to me? And 10 minutes later I was asking the same thing and just getting super emotional.”

While Harper has recovered he now works out under medical supervision. He also stressed how genetics play a part in heart attack risk and the importance of monitoring one’s health.

ā€œYou really face your mortality,ā€ Harper says. ā€œAnd Iā€™m really understanding whatā€™s important, and whatā€™s really important in life. And let me tell you I am not sweating the small things anymore. And I am not sweating the big things anymore. I care about my friends. I care about my family. I care about my dog. I am going to appreciate every single day that Iā€™m here.ā€

Harper served as a trainer on “The Biggest Loser” before taking over as host from Alison Sweeney in 2015. He has also appeared as an advisor on “The New Celebrity Apprentice.”

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Movies

Ranking the best queer films of 2024

Horror, romance, revenge fantasies, and more

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Itā€™s time again for the Bladeā€™s annual round-up of our favorite films of the year ā€“ and as always, weā€™re keeping our focus queer. Weā€™ve loved movies like ā€œAnoraā€ and ā€œThe Brutalist,ā€ and we appreciate the queer talent in inclusive titles like ā€œSing Sing,ā€ ā€œEmilia Perez,ā€ and ā€œWicked,ā€ but weā€™re limiting our choices to films that speak more directly to queer experience ā€“ which means most of the titles on our list are smaller movies that might have slipped under your radar.

Fortunately, weā€™re here to fill you in on the ones you missed.

#10 Cora Bora. Landing at No. 10on the list is a comedy-of-awkwardness, this time focused on a bisexual musician (Meg Stalter) whose faltering bid for success in Los Angeles prompts her to return to her native Portland and attempt to reconcile with the longtime girlfriend she left behind. Stalter infuses the clueless self-absorption of her character with a subtext that wins our hearts before we even know the backstory which illuminates it, and the overall tone of compassion that director Hannah Pearl Utt drives home a healing sense of ā€œmeeting people where they areā€ that makes us think twice about judging even the most insufferable among us.

Megan Stalter in ā€˜Cora Bora.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of Brainstorm Media)

#9 Big Boys. Equal parts bittersweet coming-of-age story and uncomfortable-yet-endearing comedy, this festival-circuit fave from filmmaker Corey Sherman strikes gold with an eminently relatable narrative about the awkwardness of burgeoning sexuality and a winning performance from young star Isaac Krasner, as a plus-size young teen who develops a crush on his female cousinā€™s hunky-and-bearish new boyfriend (David Johnson III) during a camping trip. Funny, poignant, and yes, heartwarming, itā€™s a much-needed look at the difficulties of navigating the transition to adulthood while also struggling with issues of body-positivity and sexual identity.

Isaac KrasnerĀ andĀ David Johnson IIIĀ in ā€˜Big Boys.ā€™ (Photo courtesy Dark Star Pictures)

#8 National Anthem. Though it garnered little attention during its brief theatrical release, this indie debut feature from Luke Gilford deserves due attention for its remarkably jubilant story of a young day laborer (Charlie Plummer) who takes on a job at a ranch run by queer rodeo performers, including Sky (Eve Lindley), a captivating trans girl who stirs feelings heā€™s kept hidden at home. An open-hearted coming-of-age story, with an optimistic attitude toward acceptance, love, and finding oneā€™s ā€œpeople,ā€ itā€™s a welcome must-see in a time marked by conflict and divisive thinking.

Eve LindleyĀ in ā€˜National Anthem.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of Variance Distribution)

#7 Love Lies Bleeding. A throwback to ā€˜90s lesbian neo-noir, this stylized thriller from director Rose Glass stars Kristen Stewart as the estranged daughter of a small-town crime boss (Ed Harris) whose romance with an aspiring female bodybuilder puts them both in her ruthless daddyā€™s crosshairs. Pulpy, violent, and unapologetically amoral, itā€™s both an exercise in neon-tinged period style and a loopy-but-suspenseful thrill ride that keeps you on the edge of your seat even through its most absurd moments.

Katy Oā€™BrianĀ andĀ Kristen StewartĀ in ā€˜Love Lies Bleeding.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of A24)

#6 The Peopleā€™s Joker. Trans filmmaker Vera Drew wrote, directed, and stars in this off-the-beaten-path triumph that amusingly asserts itself as a parody in no way associated with any ā€œofficialā€ comic book franchise ā€“ even though it takes place in an alternate, dystopian America where Batman is the president, comedy is regulated by the government, and a trans comedian named ā€œJokerā€ is attempting to disrupt the system by organizing a band of outsider comics into an illegal comedy troupe. Ingeniously creative with its low-budget resources, it inverts all the revered comic book tropes and spoofs them through a radical trans/feminist lens ā€” which may explain why it never played at your local multiplex ā€” in a way that manages to be as hilarious as it is militant. 

A scene from ā€˜The Peopleā€™s Joker.ā€™ (Screen capture via IGN Movie Trailers/YouTube)

#5 Problemista. If thereā€™s any queer creative talent thatā€™s exerted a unique mark on the contemporary cultural landscape, it’s that of Julio Torres; this oddly conceived riff on the ā€œbuddy comedyā€ ā€“ his feature filmmaking debut ā€“ is a quintessential example of its fey magic. Centered on a young Salvadoran immigrant (Torres) with dreams of becoming a toy designer and his unlikely alliance with an art-world outcast trying to manage the estate of her cryogenically frozen husband (Tilda Swinton), itā€™s a ā€œDevil Wears Pradaā€ style coming-of-age tale about mentorship that simultaneously skewers the lunacies of modern American society and encourages us to look beyond each othersā€™ surfaces to discover who we really are ā€“ a delicate balancing act which Torres pulls off perfectly, with invaluable help from a deliciously over-the-top performance by co-star Swinton.

Julio TorresĀ andĀ Tilda SwintonĀ in ā€˜Problemista.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of A24)

#4 Femme. This sexy revenge fantasy from the UK, helmed by first-time feature directors Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping, centers on a London drag queen (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) who undertakes a dangerous plot to ā€œoutā€ his attacker in a gay bashing incident (George MacKay) after encountering him in a gay sauna ā€“ only to find himself becoming entangled in a secretive relationship with him. With a title that hints at the pressures of ā€œpassingā€ in a homophobic world, and a convincing pair of performances to sell its premise, it’s an unexpectedly powerful (and transgressively romantic) thriller about the conflict between empathy and hate.

George MacKayĀ andĀ Nathan Stewart-JarrettĀ in ā€˜Femme.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of Utopia)

#3 Housekeeping for Beginners. Our third spot goes to this rich ensemble piece from the Republic of North Macedonia and rising filmmaker Goran Stolevski, which explores and celebrates the true meaning of ā€œfamilyā€ through the saga of a lesbian who agrees to adopt her terminally ill partnerā€™s teen children, and then has to make good on the promise with the help of a household full of disparate outsiders she has collected around her. It transcends genre, blending social commentary with slice-of-life intimacy for a multi-faceted tale of queer resilience, and scores extra points for examining prejudicial attitudes around the ā€œother-izedā€ Romani community in Central Europe.

A scene from ā€˜Housekeeping for Beginners.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of Focus Features)

#2 I Saw the TV Glow. Nonbinary writer/director Jane Schoenbrun takes an even more surrealistic approach with this unsettling horror tale in which a sensitive teen boy bonds with an older lesbian classmate over a bizarre late-night TV series – ā€œThe Pink Opaque,ā€ about a pair of psychic twins who fight monsters together from opposite sides of the world, which goes on to have an unexpected impact on their lives. Itā€™s difficult to explain the plot, really, but that scarcely matters; in the eerie, dream-like world it inhabits, memory, perception, and reality are interchangeable enough that it somehow all makes sense ā€“ and a metaphoric subtext emerges to build an obvious allegory about the mind-altering influence of pop media, the erasure of Queer history, and the crippling impact of cultural transphobia. The ending will haunt you forever.

Justice SmithĀ andĀ Brigette Lundy-PaineĀ in ā€˜I Saw the TV Glow.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of A24)

#1 Queer. Topping our list is Luca Guadagninoā€™s lush big screen adaptation of William S. Burroughsā€™s semi-autobiographical novella, in which Daniel Craig is flawless as an American expatriate falling hard for a much younger man in the hedonistic haze of 1950s Mexico City. Raw and impressionistic, with frequent flourishes of surrealism and an overall tone of melancholy, itā€™s hardly a crowd-pleaser. But its fearless intensity and unwavering authenticity are palpable enough to burn ā€“ and weā€™re not just talking about the much-publicized sex scenes between Craig and co-star Drew Starkey, who also turns in an excellent performance. Itā€™s a film of sheer cinematic beauty, a hallucinatory journey that touches human experience at its most intimate and essential level, with a career-defining star turn to anchor it.

Daniel CraigĀ andĀ Drew StarkeyĀ in ā€˜Queer.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of A24)
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a&e features

Looking back at the 10 biggest A&E stories of 2024

Menendez brothers, Chappell Roan, ā€˜Wicked,ā€™ and more

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(Photo of Cooper Koch in 'Monsters' courtesy of Netflix; screen capture of Imane Khelif via YouTube. Washington Blade photo of Oprah Winfrey by Michael Key)

Reflecting on a year in queer entertainment is never one dimensional. You get stories of joy, hate, and everything in between.

And 2024 was no different. For every Chappell Roan, you get a J.K. Rowling. But looking back on this year is vital in recognizing what progress was made in LGBTQ spaces, and which areas need more attention to make a better 2025.

Though there are no 10 stories that are truly ā€œthe most important,ā€ here are some events that represented the good, the bad, and the gloriously gay this year.

#10: Joaquin Phoenix abruptly exits gay film: ā€œJokerā€ star Joaquin Phoenix reportedly exited a gay romance film days before production was set to begin, stirring up a controversial storm in Hollywood.

Sets were built and distribution deals were already made, which left many owed compensation. 

Described as a detective love story featuring two men in the 1930s, the film was allegedly made to receive an NC-17 rating and to feature authentic and graphic sex scenes.

#9: Adele snaps back at homophobic fan:What better way to kick off Pride month this year than Adele publicly humiliating a fan who shouted a homophobic comment?

The singer was performing her Las Vegas residency show when an audience member shouted, ā€œPride sucks.ā€ Her response was appropriately filled with profanities. 

ā€œDid you come to my fucking show to say Pride sucks? Are you fucking stupid?ā€ Adele said. ā€œDonā€™t be so fucking ridiculous. If you have nothing nice to say, shut up, alright?ā€

A video of the interaction went viral online, and fans rallied on social media to show their support of the singer.

#8: Oprah receives GLAAD recognition: Oprah Winfrey received the GLAAD Lifetime Achievement Award in March. It was a culmination of her strong history of support for the LGBTQ community.

Winfrey used her platform on her self-titled show to raise awareness of HIV/AIDS and LGBTQ bias and hold open discussions to challenge stereotypes and promote acceptance.

ā€œWinfreyā€™s unique blend of empathy, wisdom, and storytelling resonated with audiences, making her one of the most beloved and influential figures in media history,ā€ Los Angeles Blade publisher Troy Masters wrote.

Oprah Winfrey speaks at the Democratic National Convention in August. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

#7: A new ā€˜Voiceā€™:NBCā€™s hit singing competition, ā€˜The Voice,ā€™ crowned its first LGBTQ winnerĀ after 25 seasons.

Asher HaVon, who performed on team Reba McEntire, became a staple on the show for his hypnotic and rich tone. From Selma, Ala., HaVon also represents the fight for equality. 

When former President Barack Obama visited Selma in 2015, HaVon sang for him and 200,000 other people at the historic Selma Bridge crossing.

ā€œFor the rest of us, in the LGBTQ community, in the dance clubs, and in the hearts of ones needing a new diva to love, Asher has arrived,ā€ Los Angeles Blade reporter Rob Watson wrote in May.

#6: Out and proud: Many notable celebrities came out this year, including country singer Maren Morris, track star Trey Cunningham, actor Julia Fox and former ā€œSaturday Night Liveā€ star Sasheer Zamata. From sports stars to country idols, these icons are paving the way for LGBTQ visibility in underrepresented entertainment spaces.

#5: Defying box office charts: Jon M. Chuā€™s ā€œWickedā€ is ā€˜Popularā€™ with audiences, to say the least.

Roughly one week into its box office run, it became the biggest-grossing movie based on a Broadway musical in North America. It beat previous smashes like ā€œGreaseā€ and ā€œMamma Mia!ā€ Beyond providing audiences with a faithful yet unique adaptation of the popular book and play, it also gave us numerous viral interviews between its two leading ladies, Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo, as well as a plethora of fan cams gushing over out actor Jonathan Bailey.

Your move, ā€œWicked: Part Two.ā€

#4: Emmys and Grammys and Tonys, oh my!: It was a historic year for queer representation at the biggest nights in entertainment. Jodie Foster collected her first Emmy for her role in ā€œTrue Detective: Night Country,ā€ while Jonathan Groff accepted his first Tony for his role in ā€œMerrily We Roll Along.ā€

The Grammys were huge for women and queer artists, recognizing performers like Billie Eilish, SZA, Miley Cyrus, and Victoria Monet. It was a much different story than in 2018, when Grammy organizers responded to a lack of female recognition by telling women to ā€œstep up.ā€Ā 

#3: Misinformation fuels hate at Olympics: Olympic boxer Imane Khelif was the center of right-wing rage during this summerā€™s Paris games after many prominent celebrities and personalities said she is transgender. Khelif has differences of sex development (DSD), which is a group of rare conditions that causes oneā€™s sex development to differ from most others. Women with DSD can have both an X and Y chromosome, which is typically only found in men, but it doesnā€™t make one transgender or intersex.

The facts didnā€™t matter to public figures like J.K. Rowling and Elon Musk, who were mentioned in a cyber harassment lawsuit after spreading misinformation online about Khelifā€™s identity. Rowling labeled Khelif a ā€œmaleā€ on X, while others called for Khelif to be banned from competing. This outcry over false claims about her identity overshadowed her gold medal win.

Imane Khelif, left, and Angela Carini, right. Khelif has filed a lawsuit that accuses JK Rowling and Elon Musk of cyberbullying. (Screenshot via YouTube)

#2: The rise, not fall, of a Midwest princess: It was a stellar year for women and queer performers, headlined by Chappell Roanā€™s rapid ascension to fame. The singer drew global recognition with notable hits like ā€œHOT TO GO!ā€ and ā€œGood Luck, Babe!ā€.Ā 

More importantly, as a member of the community herself, fame never got in the way of her pro-LGBTQ messaging. She dedicated her Best New Artist VMA win to the ā€œqueer youth in the Midwest.ā€ Roan, whoā€™s from Missouri, also used her platform to support the art of drag. She enlisted local drag queens to open her shows this year, and gained instant approval when paraphrasing Sasha Colbyā€™s famous saying: ā€œIā€™m your favorite drag queen’s favorite drag queen.ā€

#1 Ryan Murphy strikes controversial gold again: The ethical implications of ā€œMonsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Storyā€ were hotly debated when it debuted on Netflix in September.

Some loved the showā€™s aesthetic and its gripping portrayal of the two brothers who killed their parents in 1989. Others criticized it for its flimsy factual representation and glorification of murder through its two overly attractive leads. Whatever your opinion, thereā€™s no denying the showā€™s impact, which sparked a national debate over releasing the brothers from prison early. With LA electing a new district attorney in November, the push for an early release remains in the headlines and a strong possibility.

Regardless of your opinion of the show, thereā€™s no denying the cultural impact it sparked. Out creator Ryan Murphy isnā€™t new to producing shows that divide people while generating ratings. The first installment of the ā€œMonsterā€ anthology, centered on Jeffrey Dahmer, was a huge hit despite facing intense scrutiny for similar creative decisions.

Cooper KochĀ andĀ Nicholas Alexander ChavezĀ star in ā€˜Monsters.ā€™ (Photos courtesy of Netflix)
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Movies

A mom goes to the dogs in ā€˜Nightbitchā€™

A meditation on the demands of being a mother

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Amy Adams runs with the pack in ā€˜Nightbitch.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of Searchlight Pictures)

As Tammy Wynette once sang, sometimes itā€™s hard to be a woman.

That iconic understatement might easily serve as the thesis statement for ā€œNightbitch,ā€ the new horror-tinged offering from writer/director Marielle Heller. Yet while Wynette was lamenting the hardships of staying loyal to a partner, Heller is more interested in the hardships of staying loyal to oneā€™s self ā€“ and takes on a rarely aired perspective on an even more quintessential feminine experience.

Weā€™re speaking, naturally, of Motherhood, considered a definitive part of female identity ever since there have been women. Cloaked in sacrosanct reverence due to its association with the traditional imperative to ā€œpreserve the species,ā€ itā€™s often seen as a rite of passage that illuminates and reinforces the traditional role of women as ā€œgivers of life,ā€ and usually characterized as demanding deep personal sacrifice ā€” the sublimation of oneself for the sake of another (who, in the words of Hellerā€™s protagonist, would ā€œpee in your face without blinkingā€) in obedient servitude to the greater good.

Before you start clutching your pearls (ā€œHow DARE you suggest that being a mother is anything less than a blessing?!ā€), weā€™re not knocking motherhood; nor are we suggesting that children are life-sucking demons who exist only to torment us and disrupt every facet of our lives until we feel enslaved by them. Neither, in fact, is Hellerā€™s movie, despite the clucking of anti-ā€œwokeā€ commentators who have tried to dismiss it as feminist propaganda.

Indeed, ā€œNightbitchā€ is very much cognizant of ā€œwalking the lineā€ when it comes to its inarguably challenging meditation on the demands of being a mother, though it dares to transgress societal dogma around the subject nonetheless. Based on the 2021 novel of the same name by Rachel Yoder, itā€™s the story of a woman (Amy Adams) who has ā€œpausedā€ her promising career as an artist to be a stay-at-home mom so that her husband (Scoot McNairy) can focus his energies on the job that keeps him away in the city for five days ā€“ and nights ā€“ out of every week. Rigidly defined by banal routine, her daily life is dominated by serving the needs of their child (Arleigh and Emmett Snowden, dual-cast twins in a single role), and weekend reunions with his dad seem only to reinforce the disconnectedness in their relationship, not to mention their parallel-but-discordant understanding of what it means to be a parent, a partner, and a person, all at the same time.

The situation is bad enough as it is when we meet her, an endless loop of sleepless nights, repetitive feeding rituals, and putting on her bravest face around the implausibly perfect other moms who congregate around her with their toddlers for storytime sing-alongs at the library. Things start to take an even more depressing turn for her, however, when she begins to notice strange physical anomalies ā€“ new and oddly located patches of hair, a heightened sense of smell, an increased appetite ā€“ taking place in her body. Though she at first shrugs them off, these changes soon escalate to include uncontrollable outbursts of aggression, resurfacing memories of her childhood and her own mother, and recurring dreams of nocturnal runs with the neighborhood dogs, who in waking life have become inexplicably drawn to her. Recognizing that these new developments might threaten the already delicate balance of her domestic status quo, she decides to seek answers ā€“ and discovers an arcane and disturbing secret history that stretches back across generations of mothers before her.

Hinged on a premise that naturally points in that direction, ā€œNightbitchā€ is handled by Heller as if it were a horror film ā€“ which, to a certain extent, it is ā€“ and unfolds through a carefully stacked progression of generic tropes as blatantly as any ā€œFriday the 13thā€ sequel. Yet while certain moments do provide us with unexpected jolts and the gross-out ā€œbody horrorā€ elements definitely strike notes of revulsion, it operates in a manner that more closely resembles a dark satirical comedy flavored with magical realism. Adamsā€™s character (billed simply as ā€œMotherā€) accepts these alarming changes with as much detached resignation as she does the rigors of rearing her child, but her narrative moves definitively into action when she decides to embrace what is happening to her, drawing inspiration from the wilder self that is pressing from within to make bolder, more instinctual choices.

Ultimately, of course, the filmā€™s lycanthrop-ish trappings serve as a metaphor for an inner beast kept caged inside that clamors to be unleashed. Its central character ā€“ who, as we see in flashback memories, was raised in what many would call an ā€œextremeā€ conservative environment ā€“ has built an entire self-actualized life and abandoned it, over a traditionalist sense of duty, for something that feels like an existence of endless servitude. Why wouldnā€™t she feel the need to assert her natural autonomy?

And yes, thereā€™s an obvious feminist message that emerges as ā€œNightbitchā€ lopes toward its denouement, yet while it mercilessly explores the grueling side of child-rearing and throws subtextual shade at the patriarchal attitudes that make the experience even harder, it works to reconcile all those seemingly dissonant viewpoints and reinforce the notion that being a mother is a path to self-actualization.

Heller keeps the root of the Motherā€™s strange transformation enigmatic, but her film could not be clearer about its purpose: spurring her protagonist to reclaim her autonomy, and to forge a balance between her roles as an empowered woman, a selfless mother, and an artist with the potential to reconcile them all into one. If, that is, she can keep herself from going feral.

Adams, whose talent as an actress has often been underappreciated despite critical acclaim and multiple industry accolades, shines here in a way sheā€™s previously never been allowed, taking on a glamourless yet compelling role and embodying it without reservation or ego. Her character walks a razorā€™s edge of likability, but she brings the kind of truth to her performance that keeps us on her side. In a similar fashion, Scoot McNairy (billed as ā€œHusbandā€) manages to represent ā€œThe Patriarchyā€ yet also surprise us with his adaptability and empathy; together, they embody a couple we are somehow happy to root for, whose relationship ā€“ like all relationships ā€“ is a work-in-progress. The ā€˜70s cult cinema icon Jessica Harper also makes a significant impression as a vaguely ā€œwitchyā€ librarian who facilitates Adamsā€™s quest for knowledge.

The quality of these performances – and Hellerā€™s meticulous crafting of the film, which mostly keeps its supernatural elements in the nebulous realm between real life and imagination, though there are some legitimately disturbing moments ā€“ help to push ā€œNightbitchā€ beyond its genre pretensions and use it to express feelings that will doubtless be familiar to millions of woman, yet rarely explored onscreen. Viewers looking for horror might see this as a ā€œbait-and-switch,ā€ but itā€™s this frankness that distinguishes it, especially in a time when women might well be facing the real horror of a future without bodily autonomy.

If thatā€™s not enough to make it one of the seasonā€™s essential films to see, then it should be.

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Books

A tale of lesbian romance and growing into your place in life

ā€˜Iā€™ll Get Back to Youā€™ an enjoyable holiday read

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(Book cover image courtesy of Penguin Books)

ā€˜Iā€™ll Get Back to Youā€™
By Becca Grischow
c.2024, Penguin Books
$19/320 pages

Christmas tree lots, ugh. Santa, New England, snowflakes, mistletoe, blah blah blah.

The cable TV lineup is full of that stuff this time of year but itā€™s nowhere near as magical as Hollywood wants you to believe. Honestly, thinking of romance (or the lack thereof) right now is almost enough to bring out your humbug. Get this, though: Thereā€™s plenty of romance to go around this Yuletide, but in ā€œIā€™ll Get Back to Youā€ by Becca Grischow, it might take some planning to find it.

It was supposed to be a great dual-birthday celebration.

Murphy and her BFF, Kat, were planning a ā€œBlackout Wednesdayā€ of drinking and debauchery, followed by a sleepover and snacks at Murphyā€™s house before they went to Katā€™s parentsā€™ place for Thanksgiving. That was the plan, until Kat ruined it by bringing her new boyfriend, Daniel, along and assuming that Murphy wouldnā€™t mind.

Murphy minded very much. She hated being the gay third wheel, and it was doubly annoying when they all ran into Ellie, whoā€™d graduated a few years before Kat and Murphy.

Wait, Ellie was straight in high school, wasnā€™t she? Well, she wasnā€™t now and when Ellie, Kat, and Daniel started comparing notes about attending the University of Illinois, it was all Murphy could do not to roll her eyes.

She wasnā€™t feeling this holiday thing. She was feeling kind of loser-ish, in fact: still living in her childhood bedroom in her parentsā€™ house, working a job sheā€™d had since she was 16, still at community college and failing accounting.

And, apparently, failing at love, too, because Ellie told Murphy that they could be friends, and that was all. But when Murphy realized that Ellieā€™s mother was the professor who was about to fail her in accounting class, Ellie came up with a plan.

If they could pretend to have a relationship, then maybe Ellieā€™s mother would grant Ellie her dream of attending college in New York City. And maybe sheā€™d ā€œplay favoritesā€ and give Murphy a passing grade.

It was a weird plan. Super weird. 

Alright, letā€™s just admit this: A book like ā€œIā€™ll Get Back to Youā€ isnā€™t going to change the world or influence people in high places. Itā€™s probably not going to land on the bestseller list. Itā€™s just a light, fun little story ā€“ and isnā€™t that what you need during the holiday season?

With your typical girl-meets-girl, struggle-and-argument, wacky-plan-happy-ending format, author Becca Grischow tells a tale of friendship and romance and growing into the place in life thatā€™s meant to be, which is a good but subtle reminder for some readers who need it. Grischow gives readers a cast of characters who are kind but authentic, fallible but trustworthy, and mostly pretty likable, too, which makes this an easy book to enjoy at just the right time.

If you havenā€™t found your holiday romance for the season yet, hereā€™s one to look for beneath the mistletoe. Find ā€œIā€™ll Get Back to Youā€ and youā€™ll like it a lot.

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a&e features

Procrastinatorā€™s gift guide

Last-minute ideas for the queer family in your life

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Looking for gift ideas? Virtue is an intimates brand with a mission. Also, Lisa Niverā€™s travel memoir ā€˜Brave-ish: One Breakup, Six Continents, and Feeling Fearless After Fiftyā€™ makes a great gift.

Itā€™s been a rough year for many, and yet it is so important to find things to be grateful for. Hopefully, you and your LGBTQ loved ones have enjoyed the plethora of presents being offered throughout this festive season. 

But if youā€™re stumped on what to buy, hereā€™s our list of thoughtful gifts for him, her, and them. And with such a stressful world, always remember that gift giving doesnā€™t need to be reserved for holidays and birthdays ā€” you can acknowledge your friend, family member, coworker or romantic partner at any time of the year.

Gender Fluid/He/She/They

Virtue is an intimates brand with a mission: create garments for anyone and everyone. Founded and designed by sustainable fashion designer Yotam Solomon, the brand fosters a diverse, sex-positive community of individuals. Itā€™s no wonder the company has been nominated for Best Lingerie/Apparel Line for 2025ā€“ they make the first genderless jockstrap. Kristen Stewart was photographed earlier this year for the Rolling Stone cover, wearing the athleisure brand.

Virtue creates its products with what it calls a ā€œTrue Unisex Fit,ā€ meaning ā€œsex is irrelevant when it comes to fit.ā€ The Strap Briefs, for example, are sold both with and without a pouch. Sizes currently run from XXS to 4X, with the intention of introducing a wider range in the future.

Maurice Gattis is an outstanding LGBQT designer who has created gorgeous looks for men and women. He just launched his new line–FortMose1738, named for the first black community in the USA in St Augustine, Florida.  The collection is made in Ghana from Kente and 100% cotton in a bold array of colors and patterns. The concept shines a light on Africa’s textile artisans. He goes to South Africa to work with homeless young people ostracized for their choice to be LGBTQ and is considered a leader in bringing awareness of the socio-economic factors driving LGBTQ homelessness. Prices start at $50 for a Kente clutch – up to $650 for a Kente suit, cotton dresses are in the $200 range and shirts for men start under $100. 

Revive is a female owned and operated jewelry brand based in Southern California that is all about giving back. Their creator/designer, Nikki, offers some wonderful collections, each of which helps support a different cause. Revive is the only brand out there that incorporates cellular images into the creation of their stones, making them not only beautiful, but truly unique and impactful too.

Self Care

For the person who wants to take extra good care of themselves, check out More Longevity & Wellbeing, the lesbian-owned mushroom superfood blends/capsules company. Lower stress, elevate mood, and boost energy. Refresh. Restore. This blend was created to help your body adapt to lifeā€™s challenges with ingredients that calm the nerves and support relaxation. Mix a scoop in hot water to kick start your day! I love the mocha and banana coconut flavors!

Letā€™s face it, somehow we have to get through the next four years. For your favorite Democrats, how about the gift of cannabis to ease their discomfort?! Golden State is Californiaā€™s #1 premium cannabis brand, known as the crĆØme of the crop for luxury flower and pre-rolls. Minority-owned and the first carbon neutral certified cannabis brand, the below sets are perfect gifts for anyone ā€“ from the ā€œcanna-serā€ to the ā€œcannaicrious!”

Curated Cannabis Set ā€“ A unique set curated by A Golden Stateā€™s Head Cultivator himself, the set includes three delectable eighths that are consumer favorites. $145.00

ā€¢ MOUNTAIN SHADOWS ā€” a boldly nostalgic and terpene-heavy hybrid.

ā€¢ ALPINE SUNRISE ā€” the perfect sativa for any occasion.

ā€¢EMPANADAS DIEZ ā€” the latest indica, first featured and revered at the 2023 California Zalympix Competition.

Connoisseurā€™s Choice SOIRƉE Set ā€“ The perfect set for sharing or unwinding solo, customers can select their two eighth strains and preferred mini pre-roll pack from A Golden Stateā€™s line of products. $118.00

For The Smoothest Skin

Sara and Ben Jensen are the founders of Hugh & Grace, a brand of hormone-supportive skin, health, and home care products that help men and women lead healthier lives and be aware of hormone disruptors that can impact physical health and infertility. They experienced unexplained infertility for 14 years before having two babies via surrogacy. Check out their body oilā€“great for after shaving and to remove makeup!

Burke Williams Skincare, renowned for its commitment to delivering top-tier, spa-quality products, is unveiling H2Vā€”a pioneering line that promises to redefine how we approach hydration and skin vitality. The H2V collection is a meticulously crafted solution that integrates advanced hydration technology with the brand’s signature rejuvenating ingredients. burkewilliams.com

Auro Wellness

Auro Wellness is a cutting-edge LA-based wellness brand that combines revolutionary ingredients, advanced patented sub-nano absorption technology, and a straightforward system for healthy living ā€“ all crafted from the heart. Their star product is their Glutaryl Spray that optimizes antioxidant absorption and efficacy and delivers Glutathione to the body more potently than ever before. It aids in detoxifying the body of existing free radicals and improving oneā€™s health in both the short-term and the long-term. aurowellness.com

Oxygenetix

Oxygenetix is a breakthrough foundation to cover, help heal and minimize – even eliminate – procedural scars.  Designed for doctors, Breathable foundation covers and treats a wide variety of skin problems: skin injuries, wounds, rashes, cracked, dry skin, acne scars, rosacea and other skin conditions. On post-surgical scars, patients are re-assured and impressed that after care includes safely camouflaging any evidence of surgery. oxygenetix.com

SISH Beauty

SISH Beauty is not just another skincare brand; it’s a philosophy. Their mission is to pare away the noise and focus on what truly matters in skincareā€”effectiveness, mindfulness, and intentionality. The SISH Beauty Team understands that in the cluttered landscape of beauty products, simplicity and purpose are not just desirable but essential.The SISH Beauty In-Shower Facial Treatment is designed with your well-being in mind, incorporating sustainable practices. The SISH Beauty team strives to create a positive impact on both your skin and the environment, promoting a holistic sense of beauty and wellness. sishbeauty.com

For the One Who Loves Super Heroes

Filmland Spirits was born from an enthusiasm for whiskey, a passion for movies and a dedication to storytelling. They believes that every whiskey has a story, and every story deserves a whiskey. The result is a wildly creative pairing of an original retro B-Movie concept ā€“ complete with monsters, robot sand over-the-top plots ā€“ with a delicious and unique whiskey ā€“ each of which has already won a Gold Medal or higher. Even the bottles tell part of the story as they are custom-designed to reflect movie houses of the 1950s and feature movie posters as labels. 

Their latest release ā€” just in time for holidays is QUADRAFORCE, a blend of four straight bourbons, from four different states, each aged a minimum of four years. QUADRAFORCE tells the story of a parallel universe which exists during WWII. The forces of evil are winning, and following an atomic test gone bad, 4 average Americans emerge as heroes ā€” each with superpowers. Can this fearsome foursome join together to defeat evil? Only time will tell. Watch the trailer here.

Great Books/Films to Inspire

If you’re looking for an LGBTQ holiday film worthy of a second cup of cocoa, Tello Films has the most lesbian holiday films available anywhere and truly knows how to make the season gay. Premiering this year is The Holiday Club (available now/subscription not required).

Romance proves elusive for a lonely, holiday-hating newcomer to a small, Ohio town in this dramedy written and directed by Alexandra Swarens (Looking for Her, Spring, City of Trees, LA Web Series), who also co-stars with Mak Shealy (Chronicle of a Serial Killer, Sarah Q). 

Rent more yuletide fun from Tello in a special movie seven-pack for just $12.99 (30 days) that includes, in addition to A Holiday I Do, the acclaimed LGBTQ+ Tello holiday romcoms Christmas at the Ranch, Merry & Gay, I Hate New Yearā€™s and Season of Love and two other holiday films from Swarens, City of Trees and Looking for Her.

Fuel your wanderlust with Lisa Niverā€™s inspiring travel memoir Brave-ish: One Breakup, Six Continents, and Feeling Fearless After Fifty. This award-winning book takes readers on an exhilarating journey of self-discovery, resilience, and adventure. Whether youā€™re lgbtq friends are dreaming of their next destination or need a nudge to embrace the unknown, Brave-ish is the perfect companion to ignite their travel dreams.

For those ready to turn their passion for travel into a creative pursuit, Lisaā€™s Udemy course, Travel Writer 101, is a great gift suggestion. Learn how to capture your adventures and share them with the world from a seasoned expert who has visited over 100 countries and built a successful career as a travel writer and TV host. Discover more of Lisaā€™s adventures on WeSaidGoTravel.com, catch her podcast Make Your Own Map, and follow her on social media @LisaNiver.

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Sports

Saudi Arabia to host 2034 World Cup

Homosexuality remains punishable by death in the country

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(Image by wael_alreweie/Bigstock)

FIFA has announced Saudi Arabia will host the 2034 World Cup, despite concerns over its human rights record that includes the death penalty for homosexuality.

The Associated Press reported FIFA confirmed the decision on Dec. 18. The AP noted Saudi Arabia is the only country that bid to host the 2034 World Cup.

ā€œThis is a historic moment for Saudi Arabia and a dream come true for all our 32 million people who simply love the game,ā€ said Sport Minister Prince Abdulaziz bin Turki Al- Faisal, who is also president of the Saudi Olympic and Paralympic Committee, in a statement the Saudi Press Agency posted to its website.

Saudi Arabia is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.

A U.S. intelligence report concluded Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman ā€œlikely approvedā€ the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Washington Post columnist, inside the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul in 2018. A federal judge in 2022 dismissed a lawsuit against Prince Mohammed after the Biden-Harris administration said he was immune to the lawsuit because he is the countryā€™s prime minister.

Human rights activists have also criticized the Saudi government over the treatment of women, migrant workers, and other groups in the country.

“No one should be surprised by this,ā€ Cyd Zeigler, Jr., co-founder of Outsports.com, an LGBTQ sports website, told the Washington Blade in an email after FIFA confirmed Saudi Arabia will host the 2034 World Cup. ā€œFIFA, the International Olympic Committee, and many other world governing bodies routinely turn to authoritarian countries with terrible human-rights records to host major sporting events. There are simply few other countries willing to spend the billions of dollars it takes to build the needed infrastructure.ā€

Peter Tatchell, a long-time LGBTQ+ activist from the U.K. who is director of the Peter Tatchell Foundation, in a statement described FIFAā€™s decision as ā€œa betrayal of the values that football should stand for: Inclusivity, fairness, and respect for human rights.ā€

ā€œThis is not about football; itā€™s about sportswashing,ā€ said Tatchell. ā€œThe Saudi regime is using the World Cup to launder its international image and distract from its brutal abuses. By granting them this platform, FIFA is complicit in whitewashing their crimes.ā€

Qatar, which borders Saudi Arabia, hosted the 2022 World Cup.

Consensual same-sex sexual relations remain criminalized in Qatar.

ā€œSaudi Arabia was the only country to bid for the 2034 FIFA World Cup,ā€ said Zeigler. ā€œSo, until FIFA, the IOC (International Olympic Committee) and other governing bodies ban major human-rights violators from hosting, we’ll continue to see events like this in Saudi Arabia, China, Qatar, and other countries with terrible LGBTQ rights issues.”

The Blade has reached out to FIFA and the Saudi government for comment.

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Arts & Entertainment

Queer actors celebrate Golden Globe nominations

Koch, Gadd, Domingo among yearā€™s standout performances

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Cooper Koch (left) is nominated for best television male actor in a limited series, anthology series or television motion picture for ā€˜Monsters.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

Awards season arrived earlier this week with the announcement of the 2025 Golden Globes, which takes place on Jan. 5, airing on CBS and streaming on Paramount +. Several LGBTQ actors are over the moon to be nominated. 

Trans queer actress Karla SofĆ­a GascĆ³n was nominated for Best Female Actor in a Musical or Comedy, for the musical ā€œEmilia PĆ©rez,ā€ making her the first out trans woman to be nominated for Lead Actress in a film category. 

The riveting film, which tells the tale of a cartel leader who transitions to a trans woman, has received numerous Globes noms, for Best Motion Picture (musical or comedy), acting (for Selena Gomez and Zoe SaldaƱa), Jacques Audiard for Best Director (Motion Picture), Best Screenplay (Motion Picture), Best Original Score, and two nominations for Best Original Song.

ā€œThis has been an overwhelming morning,ā€ acknowledged GascĆ³n in a Netflix statement. ā€œTears filled my eyes when I heard the news. I want to thank all the members of the Golden Globes for this nomination. It’s incredible to be recognized alongside my costars. Iā€™m so grateful to Jacques for the gift of Emilia. We couldnā€™t have created the world of ā€˜EMILIA PƉREZā€™ without the amazing artistic technical team on the film. Thank you to Netflix and to all of you who support me and live with my successes as if they were yours. This nomination gives me hope for humanity.ā€

Bisexual actor Richard Gadd has been nominated for best television male actor in a limited series, anthology series or television motion picture for his hit Netflix series, ā€œBaby Reindeer.ā€  

In a prepared Netflix statement he said: ā€œI am beyond thrilled that ā€˜Baby Reindeerā€™ has been nominated for 3 Golden Globes. Almost every year, I have watched the event, hoping that one day I might be there in the audience, sitting amongst the industry’s finest, getting roasted on an international scale. So it is a dream come true. Thanks to the Hollywood Foreign Press for all they have done in championing the show.ā€

Gadd offered his ā€œsincere gratitudeā€ to Netflix for ā€œtaking a chanceā€ on greenlighting the series, as well as Clerkenwell Films for their ā€œenormous effortsā€ in producing it.

ā€œAnd all the amazing cast and crew who worked tirelessly to bring the best version of the series to screen, a special shout out to my incredible team who I have the joy and privilege of working with every single day too. Whatever happens on the 5th of January, I cannot think of a better way to start the year. Javier Bardem, Iā€™m coming for a photograph!ā€

Gadd is up against gay stars Cooper Koch for ā€œMonsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Storyā€ and Andrew Scott for ā€œRipley.ā€ 

Noted Scott: ā€œIt was a true honor to bring Patricia Highsmithā€™s iconic literary character to life in this new way, to spar with the glorious Dakota Fanning and to work with a cast and crew of truly extraordinary talent. Thank you to the Golden Globes; I never dreamed murdering people on the Amalfi coast for a year would be recognized in this way. Grazie Mille.ā€

Also in the category are Colin Farrell (ā€œThe Penguin,ā€) Kevin Kline (ā€œDisclaimerā€), and Ewan McGregor (ā€œA Gentleman in Moscow.ā€)

Gay castmate Jessica Gunning is also nominated for best supporting female actor-television.

ā€œWowza. Words canā€™t really do justice to how thrilled I am to be nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress alongside some of my idols as well no less! I think I might need someone to pinch me to check Iā€™m not dreaming. Thank you so much to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for this incredible honour, to the amazing cast and crew of Baby Reindeer, to Netflix and Clerkenwell Films, to my friends and family for all their support along the way. And a huge thanks of course to Richard, without whom none of this would even be possible. This genuinely is such an incredible honour and I canā€™t wait to be in LA in Januaryā€¦ what a way to kick off 2025! Thank you.ā€

ā€œWickedā€™sā€ Cynthia Erivo was equally elated: ā€œNow that my feet are hovering off the ground, I cannot even come close to properly expressing what this moment means to me. Not just because of this individual nomination but because I get to watch as this project and my ā€˜WICKEDā€™ family is celebrated too. Being a part of this project has been a dream come true, and playing Elphaba, a woman who speaks to everyone who has ever felt like they donā€™t belong and lets them know they have the power to defy gravity, has been the honor of a lifetime.ā€

 Erivoā€™s best performance by a female actor in a musical or comedy nomination is the fourth for her ā€” she earned her first nominations for best drama actress and best original song for the 2020 film ā€œHarriet.ā€ The British actress and singer also received a nom in 2022, for best actress in a limited series nomination, portraying Aretha Franklin in Nat Geoā€™s ā€œGenius.ā€

She also sent heartfelt wishes to director Jon Chu and producer Marc Platt. ā€œThank you for entrusting me with her. Donna Langley, Peter Cramer and the entire Universal team, thank you for all of your love, care, collaboration and hard work. Jon, you and your wonderful dedication to this work, your love of cinema and storytelling and care for each one of us on your set is why weā€™re all experiencing this now, thank you.ā€

ā€œWickedā€ has several nominations, including Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy), Cinematic and Box Office Achievement and Ariana Grande-Butera for Best Supporting Female Actor.

 Addressing Grande-Butera, Erivo said: ā€œMy little sister, baby girl I love you. Iā€™m so proud of you. Youā€™re so deserving of this moment and Iā€™m glad I get to share the seconds and the moments and the days and the years with you. This journey has been so unbelievably special, and I believe it is the company we have kept together that has made it as special as it has been and will continue to be. May there be many many more journeys to take both on and off screen, it is an honor to be able to hold your hand.ā€

Angelina Jolie is also nominated for best female actor-drama for ā€œMaria,ā€ the Maria Callas biopic. 

ā€œThank you to the Golden Globes for this honor,ā€ she said in a Netflix statement. ā€œI am humbled to be nominated alongside so many artists I deeply admire. I share this with my director, Pablo Larrain and all who were a part of making MARIA such a rewarding experience. It’s a privilege to have played Maria Callas and to be able to share her legacy with the world.ā€

Nonbinary star Emma Dā€™Arcy also received a Globe nomination for Best TV Drama Actress for her work in HBOā€™s ā€œHouse of the Dragon.ā€

ā€œI feel completely delighted. This season felt very personal to me, and at times it was hard to make, so Iā€™m really moved by this recognition. Making a show like this is the most extraordinary team effort ā€” Iā€™ll be honoured to represent my colleagues at the Globes in January.ā€

Dā€™Arcyā€™s co-nominees are Kathy Bates (ā€œMatlockā€), Maya Erskine (ā€œMr. and Mrs. Smithā€), Keira Knightley (ā€œBlack Dovesā€), Keri Russell (ā€œThe Diplomatā€), and Anna Sawai (ā€œShōgunā€).

Hannah Einbinder has now been nominated at the Golden Globes for all three seasons of ā€œHacks.ā€

ā€œGetting to make ā€˜Hacksā€™ with the hardest working, most talented and lovely crew, saying words written by Paul Downs, Jen Statsky, and Lucia Aniello, looking into the eyes of Jean Smart and every actor on this show is a once in a lifetime, lightning in a bottle experience. I cherish this show so deeply and to be recognized for my work on it is a sincere honor.ā€

Luca Guadagnino is nominated for Best Motion Picture Musical or Comedy for ā€œChallengersā€ as well as for Best Song. 

ā€œI am so proud today to the Globes for the recognition and love for Daniel and Zendaya in both drama and comedy. I am in awe of their talent. To then share best picture and song nods with more people I love ā€” Amy and Rachel, Trent and Atticus, it is a beautiful and wonderful thing and I am grateful.ā€  

Other LGBTQ highlights:

ā€œNickel Boysā€ and ā€œMoana 2ā€ were nominated for Best Motion Picture and feature queer actors Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor and Auliā€™i Cravalho.

ā€œThe Wild Robot,ā€ which features queer actor Stephanie Hsu, is nominated for Best Motion Picture (Animated), Cinematic and Box Office Achievement, Best Original Score and Best Original Song.  Grammy-winning country-pop star Maren Morris, who identifies as bisexual, co-wrote and performed ā€œKiss the Sky.ā€ 

Singer Miley Cyrus is nominated for Best Original Song for ā€œBeautiful That Wayā€ from ā€œThe Last Showgirl.ā€

Both Jodie Foster and Kali Reis are nominated for ā€œTrue Detective: Night Country.ā€ 

Colman Domingo is nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama, for ā€œSing Sing.ā€ 

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Movies

Daniel Craig shines in raw and romantic ā€˜Queerā€™

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Daniel Craig and Drew Starkey in ā€˜Queer.ā€™ (Photo courtesy of A24)

In an awards season largely devoid of LGBTQ content, one movie asserts itself as the exception by its very title.

Much-anticipated after its Venice Film Festival premiere, and buoyed by the buzz around star Daniel Craigā€™s performance and its well-publicized sex scenes, Luca Guadagninoā€™s ā€œQueerā€ has begun rolling into theaters. Naturally, queer cinema buffs are eager to see a move from the same filmmaker who delivered ā€œCall Me By Your Nameā€ and its leading man is arguably the sexiest of all the James Bonds ā€“ but if youā€™re expecting a feel-good story about LGBTQ Pride, this adaptation of a novella by famously countercultural ā€œBeat eraā€ writer William S. Burroughs is definitely not it. 

Its setting in 1950s Mexico City is enough to let you know that any queerness it presents for us is likely to be furtive, conducted in secrecy and shrouded in a sense of forbidden desire. Against this backdrop, brilliant-but-dissolute American William Lee (Craig) trolls the streets and clubs looking for sex, love, and connection among the other expatriates who gather nightly in the bars that cater to them. When a much-younger ex-Navy man named Eugene (Drew Starkey) catches his eye and seems responsive to his bold-but-clumsy flirtations, he becomes enamored ā€“ despite his own insecurities and his uncertainty over whether his new crush is even queer to begin with ā€“ and persists in his effort to get close to this much-younger fellow American.

Thereā€™s definitely a spark; the two move quickly from being mere drinking companions when an after-bar nightcap at his place turns into a naked overnight stay, and they become de facto lovers, though Eugene continues to maintain an emotional distance. Eventually, Lee proposes a trip together to find a rogue botanist (Leslie Manville) in South America and experiment with ayahuasca; the young man agrees, and the two set off to share an experience that may push the boundaries of their relationship ā€“ and their consciousness ā€“ further than either of them are prepared to go.

Itā€™s not a particularly ā€œstory-orientedā€ film; the plot flows, almost like a stream of consciousness, through the repetitive patterns of daily existence, moving between concrete reality, jarring memory, and hallucinatory exaltation to approximate an inner narrative rather than propel an outer one. This reflects the similar fluctuation in Burroughsā€™s writing, but also takes the audience into the subjective experience of Lee ā€“ a fictionalized version of the author himself ā€“ and allows us to see the threads of consistent meaning that turn the hedonistic blur into a visceral reminder of the intensity with which life often takes place, especially when longing, desire, and loneliness are involved. Ultimately, the adaptation by screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes treats the material almost as a ā€œmeta-biopicā€ of Burroughs himself, a bittersweet and characteristically raw collection of impressionistic memories given narrative structure by the conceit of fiction.

In keeping with that choice, Craig delivers a masterful performance that succeeds in channeling the late authorā€™s uniquely unfiltered personality while never feeling like an attempt at mimicry. The former 007 reminds us of the insightful talent that made him a star even before his run as the iconic super agent, discarding the familiar suave charisma for a nervous awkwardness that underscores Leeā€™s eternal sense of being an outsider, but conveying with equal clarity the euphoric heights and humiliating lows of his emotional and intellectual landscape. Already the winner of the National Board of Reviewā€™s Best Actor prize, itā€™s a star turn that anchors the film and helps it achieve the homage to Burroughs ā€“ an under appreciated pioneer and alternative icon for the queer community, though he reportedly once disowned what was then called the ā€œGay Rights Movementā€ by saying “I have never been gay a day in my life and Iā€™m sure as hell not a part of any movement” ā€“ that it rightly intends to pay.

As the object of his affections, costar Starkey brings more than just his compelling yet somehow unconventional good looks to the mix. He makes Eugene at once an enigma and a familiar archetype of sensitive-yet-callow youth, a pleasure-seeker able to embrace and delight in the joys of the moment with full authenticity. He has a palpable chemistry with Craig, only enhanced by those much-touted sex scenes (which manage to leave little to the imagination without showing anything explicit) and makes us feel both the deep bond that forms between them and the pang of inevitable loss that comes along with it.

Other strong performances come from Jason Schwartzman (almost unrecognizable in body padding and makeup) as a queer compatriot and confidant of Leeā€™s, and Manville (also almost unrecognizable under her characterā€™s visual design) as the doctor-turned-shaman who serves as gatekeeper on his quest for psychedelic enlightenment; the always-winning Drew Droege also scores in a memorable supporting turn. 

As for the direction, Guadagnino is at his best, guiding the actors through the story with insight and specificity while making sure his film gives them the best visual showcase to deliver it. Beautifully shot in a lush color palette on sumptuously designed sets, and composed with the visual eloquence of a painterly sensibility from start to finish, ā€œQueerā€ very much evokes the big screen Technicolor aesthetic of the 1950s era in which it takes place, an effect thatā€™s both reinforced by its romanticized international settings and jarringly contrasted by an anachronistic soundtrack that includes not only a distinctly contemporary-sounding score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross but numerous songs by artists like Nirvana, Prince, and New Order.

Yet excellent as it is, itā€™s a film that might disappoint some viewers. Though its name and its primary characters are queer, the ā€œqueernessā€ of the story has ultimately nothing to do with sexuality; for Burroughs, it was perhaps the way he saw through the madness of the world that set him apart from others, that kept him feeling alone in a crowd unless it was made up of the fellow ā€œfreaksā€ who were among his close circle. While ā€œQueerā€ certainly offers plenty of celebratory, sex-positive scenes of intimacy, conveying a truth that the author knew first-hand, it also goes to the dark side, portraying Burroughsā€™s Gonzo lifestyle ā€“ including explicit scenes of drug use and seemingly endless appetite for alcohol ā€“ in all its matter-of-fact squalor. Some commentators have already pointed out the storyā€™s echo of an old narrative trope, a ā€œDeath in Veniceā€ style story of an aging gay man lured to despair by an obsession with a beautiful youth. If youā€™re after positive queer representation ā€“ or at least the generally expected kind ā€“ youā€™re not going to find that here, either.

Still, while such things may disturb our assumptions about what queer life – or any type of life, for that matter ā€“ is ā€œsupposedā€ to look like, they nevertheless represent a true lived experience, and truth is sometimes just as important as presentation. And ā€œQueerā€ gives us plenty of beautiful moments, too, offsetting the ugly ones and often even turning them into something beautiful, too. Thatā€™s why, while it may not be the kind of inspirational call to arms many of us feel we need right now, it still earns our recommendation as one of the standout films of the year.

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Events

Queer Latin Dance LA celebrates decade of inclusive lessons

How this small dance class turned into a decade-long organization

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Queer Latin Dance L.A. hosted their Holiday Social on Saturday, celebrating their 10-year anniversary. Beginner and experienced dancers were welcomed to the night-long party that went from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. The evening featured music by D.J. K Bunny and special performances. 

Arlene Santos, one of the cofounders of Queer Latin Dance L.A., said the group started when a friend who had visited Santosā€™ own studio invited her to teach at a meetup in North Hollywood. Through word of mouth, about 80 people showed up to the first meetup of what they called a ā€˜same-sex dance class.ā€™ Chairs and tables had to be shuffled around to make space for dancing in the small, smoky dive bar.  

Santos told CALƓ News that people had driven to North Hollywood all the way from Diamond Bar and Orange County. When she suggested salsa studios closer to those travelers, they told her they didnā€™t feel welcome in other dance spaces. One of the reasons was that gender was more strictly enforced; attending men didnā€™t want to dance with other men and women werenā€™t welcome to try and lead. Same-sex dancing couples received uncomfortable stares from others and teachers used unnecessarily gendered language to refer to class members. 

ā€œThat’s something that I was guilty of 20 years ago when I was teaching,ā€ Santos said. ā€œIā€™d say, ā€˜okay, take the ladies and rotate.ā€™ And now it’s something I would never even dream of saying because it doesn’t even make sense to me anymore. It’s not about ladies and gentlemen, [dancing] is about leaders and followers.ā€

The queer-specific dance scene has grown over the past 10 years, according to Santos, who said Queer Latin Dance L.A. cross-promotes with other groups and sends students with different schedules to places that are a better fit. The company has grown in their own ways as well. Now, a few former students have become instructors who lead the groupā€™s very own competitive dance team. 

Santos said sheā€™s hopeful about the years to come.  

ā€œI just want the scene to keep growing and for these spaces to be around so that anyone can come and dance and feel like they’re in a safe space,ā€ she said.

Saturday night featured a salsa class at 8 p.m., bachata lesson at 8:40 p.m., and dance performances at 10 p.m. more information can be found on their site

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Books

Mother wages fight for trans daughter in new book

ā€˜Beautiful Womanā€™ seethes with resentment, rattles bars of injustice

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(Book cover image courtesy of Knopf)

ā€˜One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Womanā€™
By Abi Maxwell
c.2024, Knopf
$28/307 pages

“How many times have I told you that…?”

How many times have you heard that? Probably so often that, well, you stopped listening. From your mother, when you were very small. From your teachers in school. From your supervisor, significant other, or best friend. As in the new memoir “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman” by Abi Maxwell, it came from a daughter.

When she was pregnant, Abi Maxwell took long walks in the New Hampshire woods near her home, rubbing her belly and talking to her unborn baby. She was sure she was going to have a girl but when the sonogram technician said otherwise, that was OK. Maxwell and her husband would have a son.

But almost from birth, their child was angry, fierce, and unhappy. Just getting dressed each morning was a trial. Going outside was often impossible. Autism was a possible diagnosis but more importantly, Maxwell wasn’t listening, and she admits it with some shame.

Her child had been saying, in so many ways, that she was a girl.

Once Maxwell realized it and acted accordingly, her daughter changed almost overnight, from an angry child to a calm one ā€“ though she still, understandably, had outbursts from the bullying behavior of her peers and some adults at school. Nearly every day, Greta (her new name) said she was teased, called by her former name, and told that she was a boy.

Maxwell had fought for special education for Greta, once autism was confirmed. Now she fought for Greta’s rights at school, and sometimes within her own family. The ACLU got involved. State laws were broken. Maxwell reminded anyone who’d listen that the suicide rate for trans kids was frighteningly high. Few in her town seemed to care.

Throughout her life, Maxwell had been in many other states and lived in other cities. New Hampshire used to feel as comforting as a warm blanket but suddenly, she knew they had to get away from it. Her “town that would not protect us.”

When you hold “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” you’ve got more than a memoir in your hands. You’ve also got a white-hot story that seethes with anger and rightful resentment, that wails for a hurt child, and rattles the bars of injustice. And yet, it coos over love of place, but in a confused manner, as if these things don’t belong together.

Author Abi Maxwell is honest with readers, taking full responsibility for not listening to what her preschooler was saying-not-saying, and she lets you see her emotions and her worst points. In the midst of her community-wide fight, she reveals how the discrimination Greta endured affected Maxwell’s marriage and her health ā€“ all of which give a reader the sense that they’re not being sold a tall tale. Read this book, and outrage becomes familiar enough that it’s yours, too. Read “One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman,” and share it. This is a book you’ll tell others about.

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